I Find Myself Longing For Change And In The Bad Times I Fear Myself

Monday I had a friend over and I got so drunk. Something I've done less than a handful of times in my entire life. Drinking is really not something I find desirable shall we say. Anyways, life has been stressing me out more than normal and so I just let it all go. Nothing crazy … Continue reading I Find Myself Longing For Change And In The Bad Times I Fear Myself

My Cousins Are Crazy / When I Started Out I Just Took What They Gave Me / When You Livin Like This You Supposed To Hate

Caller #3. Last night I got a call from the prison again. Which I thought (again) was weird when I saw the number show up on my phone. For so many reasons I'm sure you could guess, but the main one being that T (the guy who wrote the phone number wrong last week, for … Continue reading My Cousins Are Crazy / When I Started Out I Just Took What They Gave Me / When You Livin Like This You Supposed To Hate

Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I've never felt so outright disrespected probably ever, at least that I can remember. W? He was killed. E? Never knew what he was doing. But this? This is K actively being... well just awful. So the mess with K? Well I've been working behind the scene trying to get word to him. Making sure … Continue reading Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I’m Not Gonna Tell You That I’m Over It, I Think About It Every Night I’m Not Sober / If I’m Being Honest

So Army Guy convinced me to go for lunch. And now he's late. My fricken number one pet peeve is people who are late. Like seriously how special do you think you are that you feel you can make people wait for you? Ohh wait, he just called (already 10 minutes late) to say he's … Continue reading I’m Not Gonna Tell You That I’m Over It, I Think About It Every Night I’m Not Sober / If I’m Being Honest

Am I Out Of My Mind? If You Only Knew The Bad Things I Like Don’t Think That I Can Explain It. What Can I Say, It’s Complicated

So I've been in and out of touch with K since he first got re-arrested. I'm sorry I don't remember where I left off with this story so if I repeat myself or miss a whole chunk (hopefully not) please forgive me. The last time I heard from him was Monday when he called again … Continue reading Am I Out Of My Mind? If You Only Knew The Bad Things I Like Don’t Think That I Can Explain It. What Can I Say, It’s Complicated

If I Got Locked Away And We Lost it All Today Tell Me Honestly, Would You Still Love Me The Same?

He called. Finally. Right in the middle of my Canada Day family gathering with everyone over at my place. On a line where I could barely hear anything, but it didn't matter because he called. So I can put to rest some imaginary situations my very active mind had thought up in the last few … Continue reading If I Got Locked Away And We Lost it All Today Tell Me Honestly, Would You Still Love Me The Same?

Where Did I Go Wrong I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night Had I Known How to Save a Life

I fucken messed up. Majorly. Not just something simple that I could fix with an apology. But I messed up someone's everyday living. I didn't tell the whole story about last Friday with K and I. Yes, K came over and told me he loved me for the first time. Yes, he said no strings … Continue reading Where Did I Go Wrong I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night Had I Known How to Save a Life

I Remember All The Feelings And The Day They Stopped

Last summer (2016), after I bought my own house (Yeah me!), I fell back into old habits (Boo me). Like they say, old habits die hard. I hadn't slept with anyone since I had left E almost 2.5 years ago, since I had more important things to focus on, like school and my kids and just adjusting to … Continue reading I Remember All The Feelings And The Day They Stopped