When You Feel So Tired But You Can’t Sleep Stuck In Reverse

I guess a depression is the simplest way to describe it. But it’s not simple. There are so many layers to it. I’m exhausted. I feel like everything is overwhelming. I use earplugs constantly because just people talking to me is to much stimulation lately. My kids walking on the floor like regular human beings … Continue reading When You Feel So Tired But You Can’t Sleep Stuck In Reverse

I Never Thought I’d Die Alone Another 6 Months I’ll Be Unknown / I Never Conquered

You know when your feeling sad or depressed and so you turn on sad depressing music to get way in your feelings? That’s where I’m at. Like I said, the doctor doesn’t know how to solve my problems right now, so he’s decided to drug me up. And as we all know from last summer … Continue reading I Never Thought I’d Die Alone Another 6 Months I’ll Be Unknown / I Never Conquered

Don’t Ever Think That It Can’t Happen To You, You Gotta Stand On Your Own Two Win Or Lose

I got home almost a week ago. Just taking some time to absorb it all and get back into my life. I had really thought I’d be leaving the hospital with answers. Solutions. But no. Instead I have more tests to do. And more questions. The doctors haven’t outright said they are more confused than … Continue reading Don’t Ever Think That It Can’t Happen To You, You Gotta Stand On Your Own Two Win Or Lose

Somehow You’re Always The First To Take Care Of Me At My Worst, You Are Appreciated

24 hours. And they gathered very useful information. Tuesday morning the neurologist walked in with her entourage of interns/nurses/neurologist in training and said my EEG from overnight had been very informative already. The data so far had let them know that my seizures are coming from a part of the brain that isn’t used for … Continue reading Somehow You’re Always The First To Take Care Of Me At My Worst, You Are Appreciated

If I Showed You My Flaws If I Couldn’t Be Strong If I Got Locked Away

Seizure Investigation Unit. S.I.U. Not quite C.S.I., which was a show I used to watch all the time on Thursday nights with my dad in my early teens. That, and then Survivor, which has a new season coming in March and I totally didn’t expect Erica to win last time around but I’m WAY off … Continue reading If I Showed You My Flaws If I Couldn’t Be Strong If I Got Locked Away

Get It On, Get It On’Cause Tonight Is The NightWhen 2 Become 1

It’s just so much. I can tell you right here and now I don’t have the words to describe properly what I want to say, but I’ll start with; it’s just so much. So many feelings, to many emotions. Not necessarily good emotions either. Hate, sorrow, anger, all mixed in in such large amounts. To … Continue reading Get It On, Get It On’Cause Tonight Is The NightWhen 2 Become 1

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round All Through The Town

We are back at home now and have been for about a week. The fire is still considered out of control at 800 hectares and I can see some of it some nights in the distance, but that is not what this post is about. As usual, something new and additionally stressful happened last week. … Continue reading The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round All Through The Town

If Somebody Asked How We Died You Look Them Straight In The Eye

😶‍🌫️ There isn’t really a good emoji to describe how I currently feel. Mainly because I currently feel suicidal. I’ve been on my new medication for two weeks exactly now, doubling the dosage one week in, and it has been messing with me. At first I thought oh I’m just not feeling myself because work … Continue reading If Somebody Asked How We Died You Look Them Straight In The Eye

Shooting Star Across The Desert Sky The Sun Is Bleeding Into My Eye I Can’t Help But Notice The Way You Talk

So I’ll be heading to Vancouver this week. My life has been full of tests. 3 different kinds of blood work. An ECG. Now I have to head to Vancouver since the Doctor from the epilepsy clinic wants me to have a special type of MRI, and they only have the machine for it at … Continue reading Shooting Star Across The Desert Sky The Sun Is Bleeding Into My Eye I Can’t Help But Notice The Way You Talk