The Conversation Dies Apologize For The Past Talk Some Shit Take It Back

This whole adulting thing is not for me. I’m either too immature for it or not reading any of the signals correctly, or just ridiculously ill prepared for it and quite frankly I don’t want it. If I could bring some magic receipt back to some store of life and say I would like a refund on… everything, just take it back and I actually don’t even need my money back, just my sanity or perhaps the finality of a quite death, I would be a completely satisfied customer.

Anyways, I had the following conversation yesterday with a dad of Little E’s friend.

IMG_0347 (Edited)

So originally in my mind he was asking if Little E wanted to hang out with his boy today, seemed harmless enough. But then nope, somehow I got it wrong and he was actually inviting his son over to my place, which to me seemed weird all on it’s own but I actually preferred it this way so Z would get to play too. So I was honestly totally fine with it. Fast forward to this morning when I went out for groceries before the playdate and ran into the kids mom at Superstore. Real small town vibes here. Anyways we got to chatting and I brought up how funny it was about the text yesterday and the misunderstanding etc. Seemed fine and dandy to me, but then 1:00 o’clock rolls around and the kids dad drops him off and he can’t even look me in the eye. I’m just like what is going on? So he brings up the fact that his wife mentioned how I was offended over yesterday’s conversation… Wait what? Not at all! I thought it was an easy misunderstanding, pretty silly once you read over the texts, you understand it could have been taken either way from the start. So I said I was completely fine and explained the whole Z thing and how this is better for us anyways. But he could barely look at me the whole time.

I’ve had this man in my house for games night with his family. We’ve drank beers together and although we’re not the best of friends given how new we are to the city, I thought by now he would’ve picked up on how easy going I am. What I do think happened though, is his wife made this to be a much bigger deal than necessary to the point it became slightly awkward between us.

That, is a major reason why I’m not a fan of adulting. If this had happened on the playground of some kindergarten class, the kids would’ve just all stood there together, most likely screaming at each other until they all felt their voices were appropriately heard, and then the situation would be nearing done. But as we grow older, there are more “protocols” or “social norms” we must follow. We have to make sure no ones feelings are hurt and we have to “be gentle” to each other. We have to be careful not to step on each others toes at the possible detriment of our own other relationships or our own feelings, perhaps embarrassment included.

I was fine with the text and was ok to just have Little E’s friend come over. I told his mom when I saw her at the store not to spread gossip or to get his dad in trouble, but because she’s my new friend too and I thought it was a funny story and I was making conversation. But somewhere along the way, things get twisted and blown up until a simple event became a full blown situation.

Something that could have just passed and become an easy memory that we might even chuckle at one day, becomes a scar or blemish on our record because thoughts occurred that suggested feeling were hurt. And it went down the rabbit trail from there.

Which is why I’m digging around looking for my receipt on adulthood. Being a child was such a simpler time, and to be honest, it’s all our fault.


-Blink 182/Here’s Your Letter-

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Actin All New To Me I Creep On You Like Puberty / The Struggle Continues I’ll Miss You

Little E just casually informed me he spotted some hair “down there” and pointed to his crotch.

No, this isn’t something that I ask him abut often, therefore he felt the need to inform me. However about 2 weeks ago we pulled out a book I got him a while back (I think I blogged about it…not sure) about what to expect when you go through puberty as a boy.  I remember thinking that I, being 100% female, in case you weren’t aware, had literally no clue what happens when a male body goes from boy to man.

I grew up in a house with myself, two sisters, my mom, and a fairly absent dad. At least not a dad who we discussed our changing bodies with. I didn’t kiss a guy, like really kiss a guy until high school and it went straight from kiss to like 3rd base, and yeah, he was pretty developed. I lost my virginity at 19 to a guy who was 28. E’ll be 39 next year. Like all I’m saying is I have ZERO experience with the male species before or heck even during, puberty.

Thus, the reason I got Little E a book on it. I just wanted to be prepared and have answers to questions, as well as have knowledge for situations that might not even have been a question, had the book not bought up the topic.  I remember browsing Indigo for a solid 20 minutes in the pre-teen section, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of options in this category. I didn’t want to get a book that would overwhelm HIM, but I didn’t want to get a book that left out important details that I wouldn’t have answers to. I wanted him to be prepared, but not scared, confident but not loose all innocence. I think the one mistake I made, was that I gave it to him a little to early. We read it together to start, which was something I offered and he liked the idea of bonding through “story” (oh kids, so naive), but we stopped after the first maybe 2 chapters, because things just weren’t applicable to him and he was loosing interest at the time.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, when he was organizing his books one day and decided that because he’s 8 now, the things would apply more. One thing he had learned in those 2 chapters was that puberty can start anywhere between ages 8-12 lol. Anyways we started from the beginning again, stopping often to discuss more things, since he now had more questions and him interjecting where his life experiences now applied.

I learned all about how he’s already experienced erections (something I already assumed based on the sounds I hear coming from his room), as well as how he thinks his “pits” stink.

On the one hand, I’m glad he’s comfortable talking to me about EVERYTHING so easily. On the other hand, as a mother, I wish I never had to know certain things about my own sons body.

EVER.

But I had to also be mature about it. So when he asked what was an erection and we read about it, and he exclaimed “Oh I’ve had that when it gets strong and hard and stands up, and then you just have to wait until it goes back down”? I had to say yes without asking for any more information, and that of course every guy gets them. But then of course the book starts discussing wet dreams, which Little E didn’t quite understand, so I don’t think he’s experienced yet. I tried to explain more so that when he does potentially have one, he’s not embarrassed, and at least has an understanding of what’s happening to his body. Well, that, and he’ll know how to clean it up by himself lol.

So now he’s announced that he’s discovered hair “down there” as he puts it. And I’m just like “Oh good for you” “You’re growing up now” “That’s exciting” “Just like the book said” “Yeah, and now we know it’ll be in coming soon in so many other places too” “How do you feel”

I need to grow up.

In any case, I think now at 8 years old, Little E is more than ready for the book on puberty. It’s me at 30 who’s too immature.


-2Pac, Thug Life, Outlawz/M.O.B.-