What’s Love Got To Do, Got To Do With It What’s Love But A Second Hand Emotion / Who Needs A Heart When A Heart Can Be Broken

So tomorrow is Valentines Day. And while I have no plans other than work (obviously) Z is over the moon excited, for reasons I’ve yet to figure out.

Last week I bought cheap valentines from the Dollar store for my kids to fill out with some chocolate hearts for Little E to give out to his class as well. We finally had a chance this weekend to fill out the cards and Z was thrilled! She just kept talking about how she was SOOOO excited to give the cards to her friends and to have so much fun. It was actually adorable. Little E on the other hand was more difficult to read.

For starters his teacher didn’t make up a list of names of the kids in his his class, because we all know what a stellar instructor/joy in general she is. So Little E is struggling to think of all the kids names. I told him don’t worry about it. There’s no way his teacher can fault him for not giving everyone a card if she didn’t provide a list. So I told him to just give a card to the kids he wanted to, or at least the ones he remembered. I know that’s probably not the best suggestion, but to be honest, now-a-days, kids will be getting so many valentines, I highly doubt if they notice that they don’t receive one from Little E. So he made a few cards for some kids at school and then even went ahead and made some for a couple of the kids at his daycare which I thought was cute.

I did push slightly, and ask him if there was anyone special he wanted to make a valentine for. You know. A certain someone? But nope. He didn’t budge. He said no. I’m literally at a loss.

When do little boys start liking little girls? I grew up with all girls. ALL GIRL ERRRRYTHAAANG. So I have no clue when to even start looking for certain signs. His dad is a dead end. My dad is just, well we don’t have chats like that. And now I’ve exhausted all my options. Other than to try my best to keep the lines of communication as open as possible between Little E and myself. But let’s be honest, how long is that going to last. He’s a guy. Who is going to want to talk about intimate guy stuff. Stuff I really don’t have much knowledge about. So I’m well aware I’m going to struggle/fail in that area of parenting. Thus another reason kids were meant to have 2 parents. So my question is what am I supposed to do for him, when he needs a MAN to talk to? I can’t fucken Google everything!

Z on the other hand, has been excited since Saturday about Valentines day. She insisted that she bring her cards to daycare yesterday just so that they were there and ready to go. She’s also been planning her outfit since last Friday, when she found out that the teachers wanted them to wear red or pink. So far she has it narrowed down to 2-3 choices but that could all change once we get home tonight and have to actually decide and lay it out. Oh to be a 4 year old girl again. Literally zero cares in the world.

As for me… I’m leaning on Little E’s side. I also feel like there’s nothing to be excited about. Of course I got my kids a little treat to show them I love them, but I know by now not to expect anything from anyone, and therefore it’s just another day.

Thrown in among the rest for me.

I am considering though, doing something a little more special for Z (and therefore little E by proxy), just because she is so excited about the “holiday.” So if you see an extra bouquet of flowers around our house, you can rest assured that I bought it for her, and I don’t have some secret admirer out there… not that that thought crossed your head anyways.


-Tina Turner/What’s Love Got To Do With It-

Any Girl Like You Deserves A Gentleman 

I want to be taken on a date.

A real honest to goodness date. Where I spend time showering, shaving, exfoliating, and lotioning every inch of my body. Then spending close to an hour delicately diffusing my hair so the curls are just right. Next carefully applying more makeup then the standard routine including contacts and falsies. Only to stand in front of my closet in nothing but my underwear for a solid 25 minutes deliberating on what to even try on before rejecting the first 6 outfits I attempt, even though I had something prepared in advance that I decided last minute wasn’t good enough. So that the final result looks nothing like I do on a day to day basis, but hopefully enough to wow my man. All the while with butterflies in my stomach… until I hear the doorbell ring, then those butterflies turn into dinosaurs practicing karate. And when I open it, there he is. Standing looking handsome as always and smelling so good with flowers he took thoughtful time to pick out, and a beautifully written card that I don’t open until later, but end up saving forever.

He leans in and greets me with a kiss, telling me I look beautiful/sexy/amazing (take your pick) and I say the standard “2 more minutes” and rush around to find a vase for the flowers and my heels then do one last final makeup check in the mirror before he offers me the crook of his arm and leads me to his car. Once at the car, he opens my door (swoon) and makes sure I’m in ok before closing it and while he goes to his side I arrange myself in the most flattering way possible and take a deep breath to compose myself.

He comes up with great conversation on the way to the restaurant where he made reservations for us in the private table in the back (I know, I know, now this is just getting way out there lol) and proceeds to take my coat for me and hang it up as well as push my chair in for me just right.

We go over the menu together while he throws in a few hilarious anecdotes about his day since he always knows how to make me laugh and the dinner goes off smoothly. There’s no awkward pauses or weird moments where we mishear each other and have to repeat ourselves. I don’t have to explain the menu to him. I’m not ever embarrassed by his behavior or his clothes or how he treats the staff, because he is a gentleman, to both myself and all those around him.

We might have a couple drinks with dinner, but I don’t have to worry that he’s had to much because he knows how to handle himself, and knows he has precious cargo in his vehicle that he would never put at risk.

After we’re finished dinner he insists on paying (duh) and then he takes me for a walk in a beautiful place he planned out beforehand. Where I can just sense that his intentions are not the same as most guys. You know the type. Where they are looking for the dark shadowy place just to get some, or wanna head back to my place asap.  But he sincerely wants to walk and spend time with me (What??!?) And so all he does is hold my hand as we walk and talk, and once in a while slightly rub his thumb along my hand when the moment calls. But our conversation never falters. The intensity is high and the connection is deep. And we both feel it. Enough so that when he finally takes me home and kisses me goodnight at the door… it’s enough for now. Because we know it’s not the last time. I don’t feel like I owe him sex, and he doesn’t push for it. Because the evening was so perfect as is.

I don’t have any inkling of what this feels like. Because I’ve never been on a “date” like this. Well obviously not like this because this is pure imagination and made for movies crap lol. But I’ve never even had a guy pick me up at my house before and take me to dinner. In fact I’ve never been with a guy who owned a functional car. E didn’t get one until we were almost married, and even then I gave him my old car. And everyone else… well just no cars in the picture, so I drove all the time. I’ve never had reservations made for me, that I didn’t make myself. In fact I’ve never really been out to a nice dinner with a guy. We’ve mostly just ordered in or done the fast food thing.  I’m turning 30 this year, been married with two kids and almost divorced and haven’t been on a proper date.

But here’s to dreaming.


-Shawn Mendes/Treat You Better-