It All Just Goes To Show How Nothing I Know Changes Me At All Again I Wait For This To Change Instead

So I went for my appointment today to see if I could get any help for my financial situation.

I really don’ know what I was expecting to be honest, but in the end it was a let down. I mean what did I think was going to happen? $100,000.00 cash in hand and away I went debt/loan free? Well I can assure you that is most definitely not how it went down.

I showed up and filled out a few forms and then started my “interview.” The first question she asked me was the one I knew would get me shut down, Oh wait, the second one. First, was do I have my own transportation, which yes I do, and that didn’t help matters when I moved here and had to invest over $4,000 grand into my “own transportation” to get it BC road worthy and insured. Anyways, moving on to the question I was dreading was do I have a job, and how much do I make. So I had to spill the beans and explain the awkwardness of the fact that, yes, I do have a job. A well paying job. Which is mainly why I’m in this situation in the first place.

My “well paying job” relocated this summer and basically fucked me over royally financially.  I lost thousands of dollars and all my savings selling my house and paying out the mortgage plus purchasing here. I racked up major debt because of the relocation and getting settled, and now I have zero dollars to my name except a maxed out credit card and debts of close to $15,000 to my parents, $6,000 to legal aid, an ever growing lawyers bill due to the ever growing number of hours E continues to demand on that front. Basically, I’m just trying to stay above board for a little bit until I can get my situation more settled.

So, because I’m not actually, technically poor on paper, all she was able to help me with was a list of places like the Salvation Army and the Food Bank, where I can go if I need…because as she kept repeating, the Food Bank can’t turn away anyone.

Not really as beneficial as I was hoping for… but not the end of the world I suppose.

I guess I’m just frustrated I haven’t won the lottery yet.

Don’t worry, I don’t spend what little money I have on the lottery lol.


-Blink 182/All Of This-

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That’s The Price You Pay Leave Behind Your Heartache, Cast Away Just Another Product Of Today

You guys, I can’t stop myself from getting a teeny bit excited for this week. That’s a lie. I’ve been thinking of it more and more since I started posting again.

I could be free and clear of E by Wednesday!

This Wednesday!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!

I should know by now not to put the carriage in front of the horse, but I can’t help but think this might actually be it. I might ACTUALLY be divorced by the end of this week. I’m beyond excited. Too excited. I’m probably setting myself up for a big disappointment, but at this point, I don’t see how. Although that’s probably how it’ll happen, when I don’t see any other way. Imma choose to focus on a good (for me) outcome.

He called me today for the first time in weeks. He asked if the kids were in school (of course they are, what kind of mother would I be if they weren’t?) and since they were, there was nothing to talk about since we don’t “chat.” I asked him if he had been released from the hospital and he told me he got out 4 days ago. Yeah, 4 days ago and he finally called to talk to the kids… whatever, some people never change.

Anyways, he didn’t sound like he had any clue about the court date. I didn’t mention it. I just kept thinking how in the world I put up with this man and his stupidity for so long. I literally must be the most patient woman in the entire universe. I asked him again to send me his medical records, which my lawyer asked for months ago for our files, and I’ve only asked for about a dozen times since. He told me he only has written copies but he would take some pictures on his phone and send them right over. I’ve yet to get them and the call was a couple of hours ago, story of my life.

So instead after we hung up, I pulled up the email from my lawyer to confirm just what exactly he is asking for in court on Wednesday, just to get everything straight in my head.

He’s asked for an order granting me primary residence of the kids (obviously). An order for child support based on E’s last filed taxes (2016 I think). An order for corollary relief, meaning his “right” to my property will be gone. Then, a simple desk divorce without his consent based on his mental health and inability to sign, and finally costs, since he’s been the one delaying things and causing my lawyer fees to rack up over the years.

Seems pretty damn amazing hey? If an order for child support is granted, then I can file for maintenance enforcement, which is a program that will garnish his wages or whatever benefits he is receiving (for his health) and pay me first for the kids, which is so needed because I’m broke as a joke right now, and I hate having to ask E to do his fucking job and send money to support his own kids. It’s humiliating and demeaning, but with back to school etc, I need a little more than normal.

So over the weekend I sucked up my pride and sent an email to a support service here in the city to see if they could provide the kids and I with some services. I’m meeting with a social worker on Friday to see what programs are available. I never thought I’d have to accept help from a program like this before, but I don’t want my kids to go without, so it is what it is.

And hopefully it can be what it is with the title of divorced hanging above my name.

Wishing for the best.


-Imagine Dragons/Natural-

I Got One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight M’s In My Bank Account/ I Ain’t No Sucker, I Ain’t Cut For No Action

I had a realtor visit my place this past Friday to go through and see the place. He then did up some comparables in the area to send me an evaluation yesterday on what he thinks my place is worth, and what I should list it at if I want it to sell. Let’s just say the results were less than impressive. Almost depressing to be frank.

If I list it at what he says it’s worth… I most likely won’t even pay off my remaining mortgage, let alone cover realtor fees/lawyer costs etc. So that means I’ll have to dig into what savings I have/had for my down payment to cover those costs, and that’s just annoying.

It also means that most likely, I’ll be putting it up for sale ASAP, hoping to sell it for as much as possible (as everyone selling a house expects) and then moving back into the dreaded parental unit. Just so I can save money for maybe a few months before we move this summer, because the sale will drain every little thing I have left to cover fees etc.

I kinda feel like it’s just another shot I didn’t need taken at me, ya know what I’m sayin’? I just wanted this move to go smoothly without it costing me tens of thousands of dollars more than necessary. I’m trying to do what I think will be best for myself and my kids in the long run, as far as quality of life goes, but common, why does it have to kick me when I’m down. Just give me a break already.

I’ve already committed to the move, so I can’t back out now just because the housing market has taken a turn for the worse and my house it literally worth $15,000+ less than what I paid for it 1.5 years ago. All I’m saying at this point is… I could see why some people would resort to crime or something as a way to try and make large amounts of cash fast. Not me, but some people.

How else do most people who are just trying to live a decent life, get by? I feel I do things “right” the majority of the time. I invest my money wisely, at least as smartly as I know how, since it’s not a subject taught in school. But algebra… Oh, I know that, thanks to a wasted 3 years of the highest level my school offered.

I save for both my kids educations.

I have a retirement fund. (That I’ll have to empty for this move… probably the education accounts as well)

I don’t buy extravagant clothes or jewelry (Apart from my $700 diamond earrings for my birthday this year, which I don’t regret).

I literally shop for clothes in the same store I buy our groceries from.

I don’t spend thousands on make-up or hair. I don’t even spend hundreds on it. I wear $4.99 mascara and maybe BB cream if it’s a special day.

I take my kids out for dinner once a month so they can feel that joy, and to learn “fancy” table manners. And it costs under $40 most times.

I pay all my bills before they are due to avoid interest.

I pay my taxes on time every year.

I don’t have satellite or order pay-per-view.

I use rewards programs to earn free groceries.

I use a bank that has no fees to save money.

I’m a great driver and am aware of photo radar spots to avoid tickets.

I use all things available to me that I’m aware of to save/earn money, but I don’t know how to get anymore ahead of where I already am.

So, tell me. What exactly is the benefit of following all the rules? Of doing it all right. Other than continually being stuck where I am? Why should rich people get richer, and me? I’m doing everything I’m “supposed” to be doing, and I’m struggling. Doesn’t seem right. So I honestly wonder if it would be worth it to consider a well thought out plan to make money in a ‘different way’.

It’s just annoying. and frustrating. Basically it pisses me off.

That all these rules are in place, for what? Because they sure don’t seem to be benefiting me any.


-21 Savage/Bank Account-