I’ve Been Here Before A Few Times And I’m Quite Aware We’re Dying

Can I just be honest for a minute? I mean all my posts are brutally honest but for real today... and for to long lately, I've been really struggling with feelings of deep inadequacy. Like straight STRUGGLING. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and doing well, but a person can have more than one feeling … Continue reading I’ve Been Here Before A Few Times And I’m Quite Aware We’re Dying

I Know You’re Built To Love, But Broken Now, So Just Try, Yeah I know You’re Chokin’ On Your Fears

So never in my wildest dreams did I expect this to happen. We went to get the mail yesterday and there were a few small packages in it, one for each of the kids and myself. From E. Not gonna lie at first I was like wtf? For a quick instant I was like is … Continue reading I Know You’re Built To Love, But Broken Now, So Just Try, Yeah I know You’re Chokin’ On Your Fears

There’s A Time That I Remember That I Never Felt So Lost When I Felt All Of The Hatred Was To Powerful To Stop

This past weekend I packed up the kiddos and drove back to my parents house to surprise them for the weekend. It was my moms birthday on the 12th, and since we won't be back for Christmas, I figured we were due for a visit. I got the Thursday off, and Monday was a holiday … Continue reading There’s A Time That I Remember That I Never Felt So Lost When I Felt All Of The Hatred Was To Powerful To Stop

Even When The Fight Is Won / Even When My Time On Earth Is Done / Even When It Makes No Sense To Sing

Sometimes I think about how difficult it would be to be 'God' I know that's an unusual thought pattern, but have you ever considered it? What it would entail to create a whole universe? And the so far thankless job it has been? I get it. Lately people have shrunk God down to a judgmental … Continue reading Even When The Fight Is Won / Even When My Time On Earth Is Done / Even When It Makes No Sense To Sing

Handle Me? / He Put In All That Work, He Wanna Be The MVP, I Told Him Ain’t No Taming Me

So he came. Actually I came. I saw. I conquered. The bar dude I met came and spent the night this past Saturday. I have not spent an actual night with anyone since E. No sleeping over in my bed ever. It was always sex, and bye. Like unless you're gonna make the commitment to … Continue reading Handle Me? / He Put In All That Work, He Wanna Be The MVP, I Told Him Ain’t No Taming Me

So Here’s To New Beginnings And Here’s To Breaking Free Let’s Chase A New Horizon, Chase Who We’re Meant To Be

So we did it. In such a new way we achieved both a beginning and an end. At least from my perspective. Each new chance at this has been expanding my mind to new levels. Even that phrase as such is misleading now. My mind. Because once you reach this level of knowledge, you can … Continue reading So Here’s To New Beginnings And Here’s To Breaking Free Let’s Chase A New Horizon, Chase Who We’re Meant To Be

I Don’t Know Why I’m Scared ‘Cause I’ve Been Here Before Every Feeling, Every Word I’ve Imagined It All

I've come to the realization that the thoughts and sensations I've unequivocally been associating with K are still most assuredly him, but they are from our birth. From the birth of our love, when we split and began our journey into creating ourselves. In my search for who I am and where I began, I … Continue reading I Don’t Know Why I’m Scared ‘Cause I’ve Been Here Before Every Feeling, Every Word I’ve Imagined It All

You’re Just Like Me, You’re Out Your Mind I Know It’s Strange, We’re Both The Crazy Kind You’re Tellin’ Me That I’m Insane

How deeply have you considered how you came to be. When you truly think on it, on how consciousness works, and how it started, you must come to the conclusions hat we have one consciousness. Which leads to the terrifying and dangerous yet peaceful thought that we all are one. Not only in consciousness, but … Continue reading You’re Just Like Me, You’re Out Your Mind I Know It’s Strange, We’re Both The Crazy Kind You’re Tellin’ Me That I’m Insane

Shadows From My Past Life Is Real / So Real Sleeping Is My Leisure Waking Up In A Minefield Dream Is just A Pleasure Dome

I haven't been writing. How do I go from my last post to.... Little E joined soccer, or something else that seems so trivial now? Life is simultaneously seeming more pointless as the days go one, as well as revealing a wealth of information if I'm paying attention, which sometimes I refuse to, since the … Continue reading Shadows From My Past Life Is Real / So Real Sleeping Is My Leisure Waking Up In A Minefield Dream Is just A Pleasure Dome