I Never Thought I’d Die Alone Another 6 Months I’ll Be Unknown / I Never Conquered

You know when your feeling sad or depressed and so you turn on sad depressing music to get way in your feelings? That’s where I’m at. Like I said, the doctor doesn’t know how to solve my problems right now, so he’s decided to drug me up. And as we all know from last summer … Continue reading I Never Thought I’d Die Alone Another 6 Months I’ll Be Unknown / I Never Conquered

Don’t Ever Think That It Can’t Happen To You, You Gotta Stand On Your Own Two Win Or Lose

I got home almost a week ago. Just taking some time to absorb it all and get back into my life. I had really thought I’d be leaving the hospital with answers. Solutions. But no. Instead I have more tests to do. And more questions. The doctors haven’t outright said they are more confused than … Continue reading Don’t Ever Think That It Can’t Happen To You, You Gotta Stand On Your Own Two Win Or Lose

I Am Chosen Not Forsaken I Am Who You Say I Am You Are For Me Not Against Me

Zero. Zero chance of this thing getting a solution this time around. My neurologist came in this morning with all his groupies to do rounds and had a lot to say. Starting with the fact I do not have a usual case. My electrical activity is coming 24/7 from the right side, like even right … Continue reading I Am Chosen Not Forsaken I Am Who You Say I Am You Are For Me Not Against Me

Somehow You’re Always The First To Take Care Of Me At My Worst, You Are Appreciated

24 hours. And they gathered very useful information. Tuesday morning the neurologist walked in with her entourage of interns/nurses/neurologist in training and said my EEG from overnight had been very informative already. The data so far had let them know that my seizures are coming from a part of the brain that isn’t used for … Continue reading Somehow You’re Always The First To Take Care Of Me At My Worst, You Are Appreciated

If I Showed You My Flaws If I Couldn’t Be Strong If I Got Locked Away

Seizure Investigation Unit. S.I.U. Not quite C.S.I., which was a show I used to watch all the time on Thursday nights with my dad in my early teens. That, and then Survivor, which has a new season coming in March and I totally didn’t expect Erica to win last time around but I’m WAY off … Continue reading If I Showed You My Flaws If I Couldn’t Be Strong If I Got Locked Away

I Don’t Wanna Leave This Dream, Don’t Wake Me Cause I Never Seem To Stay Asleep Enough

I got a call. I actually got it before my last call, but because I had been a lazy butt, I had to catch up on Christmas junk before I could tell you this juicy gossip. It’s actually (again) not that juicy, but well let me just write my post and get back on track. … Continue reading I Don’t Wanna Leave This Dream, Don’t Wake Me Cause I Never Seem To Stay Asleep Enough

Hang On Don’t Let Yourself Go ‘Cause Everybody Cries Everybody Hurts Sometimes Sometimes Everything Is Wrong

It was awful. It's been awful. My seizures have been getting worse lately to the point my mom came and stayed with the kids and I for the last week because I've been having them every few days and I'm exhausted. But on Sunday, something new happened. Normally my seizures have ALWAYS happened in my … Continue reading Hang On Don’t Let Yourself Go ‘Cause Everybody Cries Everybody Hurts Sometimes Sometimes Everything Is Wrong

You’re Shaking This Is An Awakening You’re Shaking I Know It’s A Lot To Take In

Life. Seriously. Could it get any crazier for me? I've been referred for surgery for my seizures by my neurologist. I can't remember if I've mentioned this or not since it officially happened a year ago, but over the last month I've had like 3 more seizures at night so my Dr. has amped up … Continue reading You’re Shaking This Is An Awakening You’re Shaking I Know It’s A Lot To Take In

There Is A Headache In My Head A Pulse In My Brain Nothing Will Ever Change

So I've been seizing. Lots. To much. I had a seizure once in November, which was the first one I was aware of in what I think was close to a year, then now almost constantly every two weeks since mid December. There may have been more in there that I'm not sure of but … Continue reading There Is A Headache In My Head A Pulse In My Brain Nothing Will Ever Change

I Can’t Remember Anything, Can’t Tell If This Is True Or Dream

When I was 16, I woke up one morning at the hospital. The rush of cold air when the ambulances' back door opened made me "come to" and I remember sitting up on the gurney and having the immense urge throw up. The paramedic gave me some sort of tray and the whole arrival emergency crew at … Continue reading I Can’t Remember Anything, Can’t Tell If This Is True Or Dream