You Spin My Head Right Round, Right Round Just Like My Mind Where I’m Goin’

You guys. My life should literally be a hit TV show. The drama is NEVER ENDING!!!!

Ok. Buckle up and get ready. Or sit down with a cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate (no judgement) and relax, whichever suits your fancy. But here’s the latest saga of my crazy life.

So, my new lawyer went on Monday to special chambers (should that be capitalized? Does it matter?) to get an order to dispense of E’s dower right’s on my house. Basically to let me sell it without his “permission.” The outcome on Monday was bitter sweet. First, technically, the order was granted. BUT (there’s always a but), unfortunately my lawyer made an error in the letter that he sent to E’s lawyer. So E’s lawyer thought the appearance was yesterday (Tuesday) instead of Monday. Therefore, the order from Monday was pretty much pointless and my lawyer, being the decent guy he was, went again yesterday to court meeting E’s lawyer. The upside is that he wasn’t going to charge me for both, geez thanks.

Yep. On Tuesday the order was granted again, BUT (yes again), it’s conditional on me providing the purchase documents of my new Kelowna property.

So, lol, the problem with this is some time over the past couple days, I can’t even remember the exact day anymore with all this craziness, it came to light that the new property management company of the park where the place was that I was going to buy, implemented a new month to month lease agreement. So on the recommendation from my realtor as well as a few other people in my life with real estate experience, I backed out of that house deal. Basically, if I bought that particular house, I would be living in a place that I might have to move out of in a months notice, and I just didn’t need that stress on top of everything else. You know what they say, pick your battles.

So, yes… the order was granted, but on the condition that I provide the purchase documents on this Kelowna house, which I can no longer do. So I emailed my lawyer last night after he told me the jist of things and I explained what had happened regarding my Kelowna place. I explained that I do still plan on moving, as well as purchasing a new place, but just not that particular one, and asked how badly does that fuck everything up… not in those words though.

Fast forward to today, where I have to cut a $14,000+ check to release my current mortgage, and my realtor’s saying the keys have been released etc. So I’m feeling like I’m in a catch 22 seeing how everyone is moving along as if things are just dandy. I already let my lawyer know what the deal is. And so if he’s informing everyone the order’s good to go, maybe I should just ride with that. But, maybe for some reason he didn’t get my email about the Kelowna property and thinks everything is kosher, which is why they are processing everything as if there is no longer an issue.

I don’t want to put to much in writing to my realtor or real estate lawyer just in case they are allowed to move ahead anyways. I don’t wanna make a move that fucks things up even more. So since I’ve sent my email last night to my lawyer and again one this morning to his assistant, I think that’s good on my part? No? Yes?

Aghhh, I hope it’s good. Because living with my mom again who expects to have hour long pointless conversations every night is enough stress in my life at this point lol.


-Flo Rida/Right Round-

Got Everybody Watchin’ What I Do Come Walk In My Shoes And See The Way I’m Livin’ If You Really Want To

I have to stop tempting the universe.

Each time I say “I’ve had enough,” it turns around and is like OHHHH but wait there’s more.

You know that stupid saying “The world/God/life/ only give you what you hand handle’? I must be the Queen of the fucking world after all this junk.

So to start off my day (yes, just to start) I was driving to work and trying to get in the right mindset since I spent the morning yelling at my kids to hurry up and get ready.

You’d think after 4-5 months of a morning routine before school, Little E would know there’s no time to read books in the morning. I mean I love the fact that he loves to read, but common! Get ready first, then read. Nope instead lately, morning after morning I find him laying on his floor with a book, still in his pajama’s, and then we have to do the hustle and bustle to get out the door on time. I’ve tried taking the book away, but he just picks out a new one. I tried explaining to him about just doing his jobs first then he can relax on the couch until it’s time to go. And now, I’ve resorted to raising my voice/yelling. Which leads to me having to explain my frustrations to him on the ride to daycare. I have to tell him that yes, I did lose my temper and that was my responsibility, but it is his responsibility to do what he has been told (many times) which is get dressed, eat breakfast, get cleaned up, then he can read.

I explained that I’m annoyed that I have to keep telling him something fairly simple over and over, and at a certain point, he needs to take responsibility. Especially since he’s growing older, and I want to be able to trust him with those things, so that as he grows, I can add more things. How I know I can trust him, is when he can do it on his own without being told/reminded. So I apologized for getting mad, told him I loved him, and we both agreed to work on our faults and not let it ruin our day.

So, anyways back to the drive to work. I dropped the kids off and continued on my way with my music blaring, and like I said the universe is like oh C, just guess what we have in store for you today, because while I was stopped in traffic dancing like no-one was watching (and even if they were I don’t give an eff) when a car slams into my rear-end and I go flying forward.

Great, hey? Just what I needed. To be rear-ended. So this young kid gets out and I’m trying to figure out what the hell just happened. All my shit is everywhere in my car. Hot coffee splashed everywhere, paperwork all over the floor/dash, like this was not a gentle nudge. And he walks up all nervous and I’m like just relax buddy. It’s not the end of the world. Yeah it sucks balls, but it is what it is, but we can’t go back. Just give me your info and let’s take pictures so I can get to work.

So we exchange information and I head off to work. But since then, my body has been literally vibrating. My neck/back are actually hurting and as ridiculous as this sounds, my knees are actually becoming so sore, I don’t even know how that works but I think they slammed into the dash somehow. It’s like as I progress throughout my day, everything is becoming more and more stiff and sore.

Anyways, this kid is like 18-19 years old and is having his dad deal with it, which I don’t care really.  I’m just annoyed that now I have to find time to file a police report and deal with this unnecessary junk. I also made myself a chiropractor appointment for after work today because I’m that sore already. I can just imagine what I’ll feel like tomorrow.

So, to top off my day (yep you heard me, that’s not all folks) my appointment that I booked back in like late September to get a prescription for medical marijuana was supposed to be today but shortly after I got to work, they called to cancel it. They said they would re-book me in the “near future” which aggravated me because my wait time from Sept-Jan was a “short wait” according to them, so near future could literally be months away and they don’t give a shit.

Now, when I say I’m done. I really mean it. I don’t mean let’s test C some more to see how strong she is. I mean this stopped being fun a long time ago.

This is all I can handle. And no, I don’t want to see if I’m right or wrong on that point.

I’m stating it as fact.

I’m done.

*UPDATE**** I”ve just been informed by a fellow blogger that, yep, I should go get tested for HIV just in case, since sometimes it symptoms can lay dormant for years…. so that’s great/ read my last post for more info****


-T.I. Feat Rihanna/ Live Your Life-

I’m Going Off The Rails On A Crazy Train I Know That Things Are Going Wrong For Me

What the fuck. My Grandpa just made a pass at me. What the fuck. What the fuck.

I’m living the fucken twilight zone you guys.

I’m in town for my Grandma’s funeral and earlier today he asked me if I was still taking my ‘medication’ and I remembered that my mom had told both him and my aunt how I indulge in weed and it helps with my seizure related headaches. So I told him that normally I ‘take’ it every night but I didn’t bring anything on this trip because… well awkward (ha little did I know how awkward/awful it was going to get). So he started talking about how he had a few joints around and how he hadn’t smoked since before my grandma (HIS WIFE) died in June. So he suggested we smoke a joint together later at night. I’m staying at his place for a couple days while I’m in town and I was honestly just thrilled because I’ve had the worst sleeps the last two nights and I just wanted to have like a solid 6 hours of sleep.

So everyone else finally went to bed today and we sat in the carport/garage and had a few drags each, finishing about half the joint. Meanwhile he’s talking all this stuff about how he’s got these friends who grow it here and he can get it for me no problem. And then after a couple puffs he says OK that’s enough especially if you don’t smoke. (I had explained how edibles are now my go to). I’m feeling nothing at this point but I’m not gonna push it, so we say our goodnights and I figured that was that. As it should’ve been.

I get into bed and put in my earplugs a cousin gave me yesterday in an attempt to sleep better, and start to browse instagram a bit, even considered starting a blog post but figured I would wait until I get home because I have SO much to say, when I felt a hand on my ankle.

These earplugs are amazing I didn’t hear him coming. It’s my grandpa asking if I wanna go finish the doobie as he so often calls it, and I didn’t hear him walk in at all. I’m totally up for it because at this point I feel nothing yet, so we step right out my door into the garage (I’m sleeping in a makeshift room with Z that’s not an actual room but a link between his room and a carport type thing… in a trailer park… it’s hard to explain.) Anyways we go outside and finish off the first one and he asks me to grab his stash from inside and we light up another one.

Now I finally have a light buzz, but he’s gone, like way far gone. I asked him how he was. Just a simple question, ‘how are you’ and he gets all existential on me.

How are any of us? I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got. And here I am thinking he’s thinking about my recently deceased grandmother. And so I’m trying to just make him feel better, saying things like we can’t always plan out everything in life. We don’t know what to expect but we make it work.

And I don’t even remember his exact words because I’m still so shocked it happened, but he went with what I said, and rolled it into how we don’t know what to expect and we have to make the best of it…. and we should make the best of this moment him and I.

What the fuck? Did I just hear what I think I heard? Maybe this BC weed is messing with my head differently. So I just kinda let it slide. Thinking I totally misread the situation, or at the very least misheard.

But then he legitimately mumbles “here I am making a pass at my own grandchild”. And he keeps trying to put his hand on my knee or leg and I’m like grandpa stop/no thanks. And so he stands up while I’m still sitting on my chair and tried to give me a hug and I had to push him back with both hands on his chest while he tried to kiss the top of my head. And then he finally walked away.

And my head is just messed up. Not like in a confused way like oh maybe I should’ve… No definitely not. But in a what the fuck just happened to me way.

When he walked back into the house he left the door ajar and I’m slightly shocked/confused/scared/worried. So I followed, but not too close that he thinks I’m following to join him, but to make sure the horny bastard doesn’t do anything to Z or even Little E.

He passed both of them sleeping on the floor in my ‘room’, and I closed the door connecting our rooms and then went back outside to just… wrap my head around “this”, whatever this is.

Ok, I get that he’s lonely, his wife just died. And maybe weed makes some people horny, I’m not sure, I’ve never experienced that. And obviously we don’t think 100% how we normally would while we’re high, but come the fuck on. My Grandfather. My flesh and blood grandpa. Who’s turning 82 tomorrow. Just hit on me.

And if you can’t keep it together enough to realize that? Than you shouldn’t be smoking for starters is really all I can think of to say right now. Other than that I’m speechless. So I’m heading to bed. And I’ve decided to sleep WITHOUT the earplugs tonight for those if you wondering. To keep a better ear out for whatever may come.


-Ozzy Ozbourne/Crazy Train-