It Was An Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini That She Wore For The First Time Today

Yesterday, I bought a bikini for the first time ever. I mean I’ve probably worn one when I was like 2 years old, but as a choice on my own, this was a first. And it wasn’t even a whim. I specifically planned to go and buy a two piece swimsuit, and none of that cheater tankini stuff. I’m talking the real deal, itsy bitsy, teenie weenie yellow polka dot, string bikini.

I was partially inspired by all the old women I see on my beach living their best life. Not giving a fuck, letting it all hang out, while they drink wine on their floaties. I shouldn’t say all, there’s like 2 or 3 ladies, but the thing is, most days I take my kids to the beach, we’re the only ones there. And if anyone else happens to come they sit 50 yards away and do their own thing. So why should I be so concerned about my tummy showing?

So, I went to the mall while my car was getting it’s out of province inspection (who’s results thoroughly pissed me off) and bought the first bikini I tried on after realizing:

  1. I didn’t look terrible
  2. I didn’t need an XL
  3. My kids said I looked good.
  4. I legitimately felt comfortable in a string bikini.
  • Yeah I was shocked. I mean you’re not going to see me on the cover of Sports Illustrated anytime soon, (or ever) but it was weird for me to be confident and feel like I looked good showing so much. Much better than the old ladies on my beach lol. So I’m just gonna be more free. And also more evenly tanned.
  • So, if you ever come through my area, and see a chick with a glaringly white stomach showing on the beach, that’s just me, trying to catch up the tan to the rest of my body. ūüėā

-Bobby Darin/Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini-

Cause We Dope Girls We Flawless, We The Poster Girls For All This / I’m Feelin’ Myself

The dreaded swimsuit.

I have put off buying a new bathing suit for myself for years (no exaggeration) because like the majority of females, I hate it. Pure and simple. Last time I attempted to take my kids swimming a few months ago, my halter style suit’s neck strap broke while I was getting it on and as a¬† result we never went. That was the first time I’d been swimming in over a year at least, and I never even made it in the water. So, since I no longer trust E to take the kids to the pool, and it’s an important part of any childhood, I decided that I needed to get to the mall and put myself through the torture in order to enrich my kids lives.

Ok. So since it’s not really swimsuit season, I knew from the jump my options would be limited as far as stores that would be carrying them now. I headed straight to the specialty store that sells only swimming gear. I figured that would be as good as any place to start.

My normal go-to as far as what I like for style? Black, and one piece. Which pretty much describes my entire wardrobe so why change it up when it comes to the water right? I thought I’d try on some of those styles that are out now, where the one piece cuts high on the leg, and then has a low back, and low.. I dunno what you call it… armpit hole?¬† You know, fairly simple. So I take a few options in the change room and prepare for the worst.

Well I didn’t prepare myself enough. Because as per usual, I forgot that every one piece is made for someone who is between 5’2 and¬† 5’7 at most. Now me, who’s pushing the upper edge of 5’9 found that to be so unenjoyable. It’s not that I couldn’t get them on. Naw that part was fine. It fit everything fine until you reach the boobs. Because, apparently every bathing suit was designed for tits that were 4 inches below mine. The sales lady was like “Oh I’ll just loosen the straps for you” I’m like no thanks, I’d rather not have saggy boobs” I just want a suit where the cups are up where my boobs are. So then she thinks she has a brilliant suggestion of going up a size or two. Ummm? Why? So I can have a saggy ass when I step out of the water?

I tried on 5-6 suits at that one location and they all had the same problem no matter what the style, so I moved on to another store. At the next store, I had similar issues and was getting frustrated, until I found one that had no cups because the whole front was lace up, so therefore the boob issue was non-existent since you could tighten it up as much as you needed and I actually liked it. The cost? $156.00. Yeah, no thanks. I’m not paying that much for a suit that’s going to give me ridiculous tan lines and not even protect the girls from nipple-gate. But it was sexy as hell…. in case anyone wants to invest in it for me ūüėõ j/k.

So then I decided to take a break from the bathing suit shopping since I had all but given up by then. In my attempt to distract myself however, I did find the PERFECT red lipstick! Rihanna’s Stunna lip paint is amazing you guys. I have been on the hunt for the perfect red for years now and this is worth every bit of the $30+ I paid for it. Especially considering I’ve spent probably close to $100 total on others that I’ll just be tossing in favour of this now. It goes on great, stays on all day, doesn’t bleed, like everything about it was perfect. So that was a positive turn in my day. I highly recommend it.

I decided to try one more lingerie store on the way out just on a whim, I wasn’t even sure they sold bathing suits to be honest, I was just browsing. But I saw a couple in the back and I figured I might as well.

I found THREE that I liked!¬†(La Vie En Rose for those of you wanting to know… worth checking out) It was the most successful bathing suit shopping trip I’ve ever had! I only bought one, because there’s no need to be excessive, but I love it. It fits me so well, and I feel great in it!

I can with 100% honesty say this is the first time in my adult life that I have felt good in a bathing suit. Actually scratch that. I don’t just look good. I look gooooood. Like damn good.

I took the kids swimming after Little E’s hockey game today (which they won, I know it doesn’t seem important, but it’s their first win all season so I have to shout him out), and I actually found myself looking at myself in the mirror and being happy with it. And not just happy, but like impressed. lol. Like I look the best I’ve looked in longer then I can remember.

The suit hides all my stretch marks, and hugs all my curves. It has just the right amount of sexiness, because I’m a mom but not a grandma, and for the first time, (I wanna say in a long time, but it would be more honest to just leave it at: for the first time… ever) I felt confident, and beautiful, and sexy, and hot, and perhaps even desirable.

And it was in a fucking swimsuit no less.

I’ve come a long way you guys.


-Nicki Minaj Ft. Beyonce/Feeling Myself-

Our Finest Gifts We Bring/To Lay Before The King/I Am A Poor Boy Too/I Have No Gift To Bring/Shall I Play For You

IMG_3643

So this is Little E’s Christmas list this year. The list came about after he would continually talk about things he would like for Christmas (actually it was probably the same couple things over and over but to be honest I was hardly paying attention… opps), so I suggested he write a list for “Santa” and we could even maybe mail it to him.

Which is when my very clever boy asked if Santa is even real. Little E has asked this question this year and the previous 2 years. And each time he asks, I tell the truth. That no, Santa is not real, but it is a fun idea and little kids enjoy the excitement of the idea of him, so lets let them continue to believe. So then he asked who really brings the presents? And I asked him who does he think? And he said me (mom), and so I said yes, you’re right.

Which led to him asking why I would suggest he write a letter to “Santa” and who we would mail it to? So I told him that since I do buy the gifts, I still need an idea of what he would like, and the mailing part is just for fun, part of the whole santa idea. Pretty much the same conversation we had last year about it.

He took it really well and when we got home, he headed up to his room and emerged with this beautiful list. A list that makes me think I’m doing parenting right.

  1. A fish pal – One of his gold-fish recently died on a suicide mission, by jumping out of the bowl. Eli mentioned one morning one of his fish was missing, but I was like no way, it’s got to be in the bowl. But when he insisted, I told him I would look later that afternoon. I spent SOOO long looking for it, under the dresser, in the dresser drawers, even digging around in the bottom of the fishbowl. the whole time terrified I would actually find a dead fish.¬† I finally found it in the garbage can, all the way at the other side of the dresser, and truly believed that the fish had dove out the bowl, flopped allllllll the way across the long double drawer dresser to its final demise in the garbage can. It’s like we had our own Finding Nemo escape moment. I was blown away. So I go to tell Eli that I found his fish, and that it’s quite an amazing story, but unfortunately ends with the fish dead… and he interrupts me. Saying yeah, he found the fish on the floor right beneath the bowl, so he had picked it up and threw it out.¬† For a minute I was sad my theory on how the fish got into the garbage was wrong, but also so impressed little E handled it like it was no big deal. Anyways, so now he wants another fish so the remaining one isn’t lonely
  2. Nintendo Land CD
  3. Wii U – Which I’ve been told they don’t make anymore or something like that. So I suggested to him, that maybe we get some new games for his DS that he got last Christmas, he was A-Okay with that.
  4. Party with my family –¬†Like seriously doesn’t this just melt your heart?
  5. To see if we are going to a new home – So I’ve explained to the kids (although Z really doesn’t care) about Kelowna. And I think little E is just ready to get it done.
  6. To wish people a great time- OMG like I love this kid
  7. Cookie decorating –¬†I can totally arrange this
  8. A big home – Like I said, he knows we’re moving, but as sweet and kind as your list is buddy, I can’t afford a big home. But I can promise you it will be safe and warm and full of love.
  9. To teach me good manners – Honest to god he wrote this list himself with no influence from me. Well no influence at the time, but I’ve obviously been an influence in his life to make him. a 7-year-old boy, ask for good manners for Christmas.
  10. A boy – I asked him what this one meant. He said he wants a baby boy in our family… Ummmm. Sorry hun, I can’t get you that for Christmas. And then he suggested that maybe Aunty N, who’s pregnant can have a boy. Phew, as long as you’re not asking for a little brother, because my hands are tied on that one lol.

 

Anyways, on the way back from the gym tonight I was talking to him some more about his list and how it was very thoughtful and not greedy, and I was very proud of him. He turned around and said “but it is greedy, I asked for 10 things”

Oh Little E, but the things you asked for are not all THINGS. They weren’t just stuff. You have learned a very important lesson about whats important in life, and that is that people and time and love, all those experiences, are much more valuable, and more important and can make you much happier than just stuff, or toys, or games.¬† And that was reflected in your list. You showed that you were not being greedy by wanting to wish others a great time, or spend time with your family, or even by wanting to better yourself with good manners. All those are the opposite of being greedy. You are turning yourself to the world to try to make the world a better place instead of trying to constantly see what you can get from the world.

I told him I hope he never looses that value, and that love that he’s shown in that letter.

And I hope I can continue to point my children in what I feel is the right direction.


-Little E’s Fav Christmas Song/Drummer Boy-

Beautiful Girls All Over The World I Could Be Chasing But My Time Would Be Wasted They Got Nothin’ On You Baby

My last 2 days have actually been fantastic. So since my ‘relationship’ with Jenny started almost¬†two weeks ago, I’ve lost over 8 pounds. But¬†even more than¬†that, I’ve just been feeling great. Like more energy and not as tired and just blah. As a result, when my alarm goes off in the morning, I’m totally¬†prepared to get up and start getting ready for the day instead of pressing snooze for what used to be on average 5-6 times, basically as many times as possible. Like I would literally think through if it was absolutely necessary for me to brush my teeth some mornings just so I could get that coveted 9 more minutes of sleep. No comment on how many mornings I did choose sleep over hygiene, but I’ll admit they were sprinkled in here and there, so my apologies to any co-workers who had to get too close lol. Anyway, now I get up straight away, feeling refreshed, which has led me to spend maybe 5-10 minutes more¬†on myself each morning while doing my hair or make-up or even choosing my outfit. Heck today I’m even wearing heels which I used to do all the time, but for some reason stopped doing it recently.

As it turns out, this added prep time has not gone unnoticed. Yesterday morning, I walked on my break for coffee and I was on the phone with a friend but when I walked in I saw a cute guy at the register and so I smiled, like I do to basically everyone I make eye contact with, because, well human decency. Turns out when I went to order, he had paid for my drink. It made my morning!

Then later¬†last night I received a text from a guy I met a LONG time ago, and he straight up asked me to be his girlfriend like right off the bat. UMMM What?Charles¬†Don’t get me wrong, I am an amazing lady ūüėČ but I was just shocked. First, because now at 29, this is actually the first time a man had asked me to be his girlfriend (don’t you feel privileged to be part of it lol), but more so because it literally came out of nowhere. I hadn’t even seen/talked/sms’d this guy all year, like it’s been months and now all of a sudden you wanna date me? Not only have I not thought of you once during this time but I don’t find you attractive or see any potential in you whatsoever. So thank you, but no thanks. Also a word to the wise, if you’re planning on asking a chick to be your girlfriend, maybe build up to it… not just a text after months of not speaking… I dunno just sayin’.

Then this morning, I dropped the kids off at day care and this Dad I see maybe once every 2 weeks or so was there. Every time I see him he always makes a big deal of saying good morning or asking how I am, whereas for me, I’m more of a get in get out, the less human interaction that early in the morning the better, type person. Anyways this morning he literally said word for word “Oh my God you look beautiful today”¬† At first I was shocked, and a little offended, like what? You think I look like trash every other day? (Because let’s face it, that’s¬†most likely the truth lol)¬†But then I just took the compliment for what it was and enjoyed it. It’s amazing how such a genuine comment can make a woman’s day. Also just now,¬†I had to run to the pharmacy¬†during my¬†lunch and then walked to the post office, and I had doors held open for me galore. Even when it was from an awkward distance and I kinda felt like I had to walk quicker so they didn’t have to wait… Those men didn’t mind lol.¬† Finally to top it all off,¬†the¬†guy in front of me in the line at the post office gave me a stamp he had just bought so that I didn’t have to buy a whole pack.

It’s just been a definite confidence booster that’s for sure.

So I knew that even when we had a visitor in the office this morning who felt the need to bring a 50 pack of TimBits¬†(or donut holes for those of you less fortunate non-Canadians) for the 3 of us, ¬†it was worth it for me to not have any. It was worth it for me to stay dedicated to Jenny (lol). Because I’m feeling good. I’m looking good. And other people are noticing.

So why mess with a good thing?


-B.O.B/Nothin’ On You-