On Top Of Spaghetti, All Covered With Cheese. I Lost My Poor Meatball When Somebody Sneezed. It Rolled Off The Table, And Onto The Floor

I’m sure EVERYONE will be thrilled to know I found the spaghetti.

Yesterday I sat down in my living room to read and my coworker sent me a text and just as I reached over for my phone I saw the corner of the container under the other arm chair

A chair both I and Little E looked under multiple times. So I called both the kids in from outside and had them sit in the chair saying I had a question for them. They were so excited thinking it was going to be a fun game. Instead, I asked them both what they thought was underneath the chair, but the weren’t allowed to look. I asked if they thought there was anything special about the chair they were sitting on, and if perhaps it was hiding something. I was trying so hard to get a read off their faces but honestly it was a wash.

They knew nothing. So finally I let them know that the missing green spaghetti container was under them, and they both needed to pick it up and deal with it.

So it was lost and now found, but I still don’t know it’s journey in between the fridge and the chair. If only spaghetti kept blogs.

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Each Day I Feel So Blessed To Be Looking At You ‘Cause When You Open Your Eyes, I Feel Alive

Oh my gosh! Kids are seriously the sweetest most innocent things ever created in the history of creation and I love mine to bits. I often think about posting photo’s of mine here for the sake of cuteness, but well as unlikely as it seems after reading my posts, I do have limits.

Anyways, in today’s bit of adorableness, Little E and I went for eye exams just to make sure everything is all hunky dory in the optic world for us.

So the assistant is doing the pre-exam stuff, asking all the family history questions and Little E is listening intently to all the answers and even adding his ‘helpful’ information as he feels is needed or asking questions when he doesn’t understand one of my answers. Then she asks if I’m on any medications and I tell her which ones and she asks is I have any additional conditions not mentioned in her questionnaire and I say epilepsy and Little E says what’s that? And so I reply seizures, and he goes ‘Oh yeah when you roll and shake around in the bed at night’. And I could just tell by the look on the ladies face that she honestly thought Little E had walked in on me doing the dirty so often that I had straight up lied to him telling him I was having seizures and I could barely contain my laughter, instead just answer with a straight faced yes. So the assistant’s face was turning so red and she’s like ok that’s everything the Dr. will be right in and got out as soon as possible. Meanwhile Little E is like what’s so funny, over and over. But I honestly didn’t know how to explain it to him so I just told him that the details of someones illness can sometimes make other people feel uncomfortable and we need to learn to be more subtle about it. Lame answer I know, but how else was I supposed to explain that she mistook his complete innocent truth for a twisted lie on my part?

Anyways, the Dr. finally comes in and quickly determines Little E also needs glasses. He actually only needs lenses for one eye but the prescription is pretty big and is causing his good eye to over work. As soon as she announced it I saw tears well up in his eyes. He was not impressed. But she explained that he would only have to use them while doing school work and reading etc so his one eye wouldn’t have to work so hard, and maybe eventually he could switch to just a contact lense in that one eye if we felt that would work for him. But when out playing sports and all that, it wouldn’t be necessary. That still didn’t help his mood. He didn’t really want to choose glasses but finally ended picking an adorable pair in the end with a smile, which was helpful. He just needed the reassurance that he wouldn’t have to wear them 24/7 like Z and I, and after that it wasn’t that bad to pick out what he liked.

Honestly, he looks so handsome. Which is why I want to post a picture but I won’t. I’ll just live with the knowledge on my own that my kids are the most beautiful and handsome ever as well as the fact my optometrist’s assistant thinks my son has seen me have sex and thinks that’s what a seizure is.

Like they say, kids say the cutest things.


-Beyonce/Blue-

I Guess There’s Certain Dreams That You Gotta Keep ‘Cause They Only Know What You Let ‘Em See / They Don’t Care Like I Do Nowhere Like I Do

Google can suck my non-existent dick after they’ve shoved it up their ass.

How’s that for sexual content?

A little while ago I monetized my site with Google Adsense. I figured it’s here, you’re here, Google ad’s are there. Why not connect them all on my site for an opportunity to make a few extra dollars a month? Logical right.

So I spent pretty much a whole Saturday afternoon trying to figure out how to change the coding here on my wordpress site to allow the ads to display semi-decently, something I’m sure would’ve taken someone with experience 3 minutes. But I’m not experienced so I struggled with it and after a few hours persevered.  Then I waited while Google took over a week to approve my site (meanwhile it says it will take only a day or so to do it). I finally emailed once to see what was up, and magically it was approved later that Friday go figure. I watched over that first weekend as nothing happened on Friday, no change on Saturday, but when I woke up on Sunday to check my stats, I saw the most beautiful thing.

You my readers throughout the world had viewed ads enough times to earn me $2.94.

And I cried. Honest to goodness tears of joy. Not even three dollars but it was the most valuable 3 dollars I had ever earned.

I set this site up almost 2 years ago. On a computer that I bought with my own money. I created the name and content with my own brilliance and suffering. The blogs are FILLED with my own spelling and grammar errors, but more importantly my life. I have NO BOSS in this endeavor. It wasn’t a job that paid me. It was my outlet and in some cases my savior.  This brought me joy and relief and satisfaction because it was all mine from start to $2.94 finish. And now, in that $2.94 I saw potential for freedom from much more.

Then a few days after I got an email  from Google stating they would not be allowing ad’s on my site until I complied with their terms. The item in question? Sexual content. The post they were referring to? My sex talk with Little E.

Seriously Google?

You think an educational talk that a mother is sharing with her child is dangerous and offensive sexual content?

I FIND THAT OFFENSIVE!!!

That you think you can sensor me and my parenting. Was I sharing pornographic videos to my child to teach him about the birds and the bees? NO. Did I link those videos here? Even more no! So, for you (Google) to yank my ads and therefore my money making abilities here, because I choose to be a good involved parent, is so much of what’s wrong with the world. You want children to be ignorant? You want parents to be afraid of speaking about these things to their own offspring? Well that’s not me.

I will not pull my post for you. I will not amend it in any way to bend to your sexual content codes. I will continue to teach my son and soon my daughter when she’s old enough (so you can expect another raunchy extreme x-rated sex filled according to Google post then) because I am a good parent, and my kids will be advised, aware, conscious, caring, loving SEXUAL humans.

So keep your money Google.

It wasn’t as valuable as my children’s lives anyways.


-Khalid Ft. Kane Brown/Saturday Nights-

Don’t Believe The Lies They Feed You

Oh Kay.

So as I’m sure some of you in the western hemisphere have heard if you keep up on stupid random celebrity gossip, Ellen Page (of Juno fame, and maybe some other stuff not too sure, but that’s just my favorite movie of her’s and probably up on my top 20 favorite movie list of all time so check it out of you haven’t already) made a twitter comment about how Chris Pratt attends a church that “is infamously anti lgbtq.” Her exact words.

Now as far as I’m aware (not that I did much research, but let’s be honest), Ellen didn’t make any effort to attend Chris’s church and get booted to the curb. Nor did she call them and ask for a detailed list of their rules and how the attendees choose to live their lives etc. She just felt for some reason, that Chris at this time, deserved a kick to the balls regarding how he chooses to live his life and the choices he makes with his faith and how he spends his Sunday.

Chris hadn’t mocked or spit upon Ellen in particular or the LGBTQ community stating the church made him do it or something like that which would draw the ire of Ellens tweet. He never had an issue with how they choose to live their lives.

Is the fact true? That his church does not promote that lifestyle? Yes. But does that mean they go about bashing it as Ellen has chosen to do to Chris? No.

They make their own choice to gather and celebrate weekly/whenever they decide and enjoy same thought patterns as other like-minded individuals in a community setting. The LGBTQ community? Does very much the same. Gay/lesbian bars, pride parades etc. If both communities could continue to gather with like minded people in places that they have deemed bring them joy, I don’t see the need for people like Ellen to have to instigate an argument. Yes I know this unfortunately happens on a much larger scale much to often, but I’m using this celebrity example because, well more people know about it so it’s more relatable.

There will never be a world where everyone feels/thinks/sees things the exact same way as you. But in a circumstance where a group of individuals is living with their choices peacefully and is not forcing that thought on others, can’t we just leave them well enough alone? They are not forcing Ellen to come to church every week. They are not forcing her to  get baptized. In the past have churches over stepped their boundaries? Of course. But for Ellen to possibly take those memories and project them on this situation has caused her to be the instigator. And this can work vice versa. The LGTBQ community is not suggesting everyone “become” LGTBQ, forcing them into unwanted sexual acts or something ridiculous.

Everyone has made their OWN choices. They don’t need to be justified or explained to others. If we continue to allow that, we will only perpetuate the cycle of hate that will never stop.

We must allow each individual to have their own thoughts and choices, while at the same time understanding that when the expression of your will has overcrowded on another persons chance to be who they want to be, you have become a hindrance to their destiny.

So ask yourself, is that something you want on your conscience?

And even more important than that, are the choices you’re making, the ones you deep down want to make? Or have you already in some way been influenced to present something else to the world? It’s never to late to express what YOU want to show the world. Not what you’ve been told to show.


-Bazzi/Beautiful-

I Like Big Butts And I Can Not Lie You Other Brothers Can’t Deny That When A Girl Walks In With An Itty Bitty Waist And A Round Thing In Your Face You Get Sprung

So Little E had a friend over on Sunday and I heard him asking Alexa to play “I like Big Butts.” Now in my house, for the most part, I’m pretty open with my kids, and that includes music. I’d rather keep an open dialogue then have to deal with little secrets now that can turn into big things later. So they can basically listen to whatever music, unless the profanity is extreme. My kids aren’t allowed to swear because I’ve taught them a vast vocabulary and try to teach them a few things about swearing. First, if you don’t understand the meaning behind the word you shouldn’t be using it, and secondly it’s better to try to communicate what you’re trying to get across with more than just one word. Yes sometimes the curse word is the best you can come up with, and maybe when you’re older, it will be more suitable with your vocabulary to use. But for now, lets work on expanding our knowledge and finding more precise words to explain our feelings.

Anyways, back to big butts lol. When I heard the song come off while Little E’s friend was over I asked him to change it. He was fine with that. Later after supper I explained that I didn’t know if his friends parents would appreciate him hearing that kind of language at our house and that to remember we are trying to be role models in our life for others.

Then he asked what was so bad about the song. So I explained that the song talks about how men like big butts and it’s not a lie, other men can’t deny (or lie) that when a beautiful woman walks in with a beautiful body, or a nice figure and large bum, it gives them a hard penis or erection.

To which he was like ‘Oh yeah that happened to me at Superstore”

Surprise Mom!

And so we dove into the sex talk. I told him having an erection is perfectly normal and it’s a guys body’s way of preparing his penis for sex, although just because you get an erection, does not mean you must have sex. It just means you are attracted to that individual and now the blood is rushing to your penis, making it protrude from your body so it can more easily enter the vagina.

I explained how you would first find someone who you enjoy spending time with and trust and feel safe and happy as well as comfortable with, as sex is a very intimate (close) thing. And just because your penis is capable of getting an erection, doesn’t mean your mentally able to deal with the other elements that sex entails. You would want to build a relationship with a person before moving forward and having sex with anyone who gives you an erection. But, I told him, if you start a relationship with someone and feel uncomfortable, it’s ok to stop the relationship and just remain friends. You don’t have to have a physical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with everyone. You will eventually choose one person that you feel the best and most special with. Then, once you’ve built that bond with the person you feel most happy with, and have dated for a while and felt safe and comfortable with, and they are happy with you, you might want to consider sex.

Now it’s important to know, sex is not just one thing. It’s not just when the penis goes into the vagina. It’s a whole situation. It’s intimacy. It’s kissing and hugging. It’s touching their bodies. It’s making each other feel good. Sex cannot be defined as something in one second, and can be different each time (yes I realize I went deep for a 8.5 year old, but I also told him this wouldn’t be our only talk on it, as it’s a fluid subject). Anyways, sex is about both people involved making each others bodies feel pleasure, and the most simple way of doing that is through the penis going in and out of the vagina , but the best way of doing it through listening and responding to what your partner wants, and responding to that. Kissing, touching, different positions (to which very awkward hand motions came out) etc. Sex is normally finished once both people have reached the most pleasure their bodies can. For men, it is when they ejaculate, which is when sperm comes out of their penis, creating the most pleasurable feeling throughout the body. I didn’t go into female orgasms at that time, because, well one step at a time lol.

Anyways, so far he was being an active participant in the conversation, which is why I went this far. When I talked about male ejaculation and sperm, we moved more into how babies are made, as he talked about how he knew what sperm was and how it was half of what joined with the egg to create the baby.

So I told him, the sperm go into the woman, and one of the sperm reaches the egg and they join together to multiply and grow and grow and grow inside the woman to create a baby. So that’s how sex can create a baby. Which I very skillfully and motherfully (not a word I know) linked back to why it was important to choose carefully who you have a relationship and then sex with, as that person could potentially be your parenting partner. Like you two could be a dad and mom together.

But then he was like “so every time you have sex you make a baby?” To which I wanted to be like YES so avoid it forever!!! lol. But I was honest and explained about condoms to protect from sicknesses you can get from sex. Then I touched a bit on a woman’s period. So if a woman didn’t have sex while her egg was ready, her period came and washed it away and prepared a new fresh one next month denoting the importance of timing.

Oh man, it was a big discussion. But Little E was involved and asking questions, understanding most of it. Of course you don’t fully understand something like sex and intimacy until you’ve experienced it for yourself, but to be more prepared will help the depth of his empiricism, at least those are my sentiments.

But in the end I told him I don’t want him judging a woman or potential partner solely on her body, as the song suggests. Yes, women have wonderful bodies and they can make you think of being with them in a sexual way, and they can give you an erection by just simply standing there and existing because we are beautifully made, but a woman is not just a body. We have thoughts and feelings and emotions and dreams and goals like men do. How would you feel if a girl only liked you because of your hair or nice smile, and not because your good at math or didn’t care that you liked hockey, or never wanted to discuss how your day was? You wouldn’t feel as comfortable and happy with her as you should. There is a girl out there who will make you smile every day and want to hear all about those things, not because she feels its part of her job, but because you genuinely interest her, and you make her happy, by just being you. That’s the kind of girl you should be dating and be in a relationship with to one day have sex. But remember, there is no rush, because you’re not ready to be a dad.

Since then there’s just been a few follow-up questions, like what does sexy mean, and can you only make a baby once, or every month? Both good questions, which I tried answering as simply as I could for him.

Because although he is only 8, since he understood and took it seriously, it was time. And I trust him. He made me proud. More proud than half the guys out prowling the night lately anyways.


-Old School Players / Baby Got Back-