So I Hit Her In Her DM All Eyes / It Goes Down In The DM

Tonight was a “Meet and Greet” BBQ at the kids school. They did it all by donation to raise funds for bus rides on field trips and playground equipment etc. But also it was a good way for new families to meet each other, as well as old friends to reconnect over the summer.

At least that’s the premise of it.

It was to run from 4:30-6:30 so by the time I got off work and crossed the bridge, and gathered my offspring from day care to finally saunter over it was edging close to 5:00 (giving you a glimpse of how stressful our standard dinner-bedtime times must be). So once we got there, and found parking, we managed to find the start of the line.

That’s when I found the donation pail. I had Little E drop our $20 in the bucket which was right by the pile of plates, which were of course being handed out one by one by a couple of ladies. So obviously all the “donations” are being judged by their very watchful eyes. So whatever, I donated $20 for 3 meals. All this, after mind you having to make a special stop at the bank specifically for the cash since I never just have cash on me. Then, the kids did up their burgers and we managed to find a few random seats.

I did get to meet the parents of Little E’s new best friend and get their phone numbers so that was a win. His teachers also made an effort to come over to introduce themselves to me, although I met one of them before the school year started (yeah, he has two, they switch days) and they both made THE comment about what a pleasure he is to have in the classroom and how great he is at reading etc. Probably the same comment they have memorized to say to all the parents attending tonight. It’s what I’d do if I was a teacher and HAD to say something. That, or just keep my mouth shut. Yet another good reason I’m not a teacher. Anyways, after that, Z took me over to her 50+ year old teacher for me to meet. We just happened to be wearing the same shoes, which she didn’t notice, or maybe she did, but she didn’t mention thankfully. Seriously, what are the odds that I haven’t worn these shoes since last fall, and have never once seen anyone with the same pair until today? Note to self, never wear those flats to the kids school again.

And that was about it. Then all the kids went off to play and the food dissipated and I noticed a sad but true trend. One that probably permeates our society as a whole.

For the most part, either each couple, or single parent found their own personal space to watch their own kids play and that was that. The chit chat dwindled. The new introductions slowed down if not halted completely. Even where I was sitting, at one point a kid came near once to sit, and the mom was like “No! Not there, I’m not going to crowd in that tiny space”…. A space that could’ve easily sat 6-8 people… and off they went somewhere else to be in their own bubble.

So I tried on my own to start new conversations with a variety of different people and within TWO minutes or less each of them used the excuse of “where’s my kid/what’s my kid doing?” And off they went in search of their children to get out of talking with someone new. Even though in two cases I literally saw them walk less than 10 feet away to their kid, and then just continued to stand and monitor the child silently from there. But now alone.

Why are we so afraid of making new friends? I mean I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a lot, if any opportunities to meet new people lately (apart from the guys I’ve been meeting and a few new girl friends here and there… not enough for me). And because of my situation I feel like most of the ties I had with people before have been cut or they are strained because of the distance. So here I was trying to make the best of a pre-arranged meet and greet, with no luck. I don’t consider myself a weird person. I can be quite friendly plus I’m witty and easy to get along with. I’m really good at keeping the conversation going. I’m basically my blog in person…. So I guess maybe I am weird, depending on who’s opinion you get lol.

But do these people have a whole arsenal of friends outside of the school/life? Like are they one of those people who have like 6,000 Facebook friends, but in some strange twist of fate they actually talk to/hangout/keep in touch with all of them? Because I’ll be honest, they looked just as lonely and miserable as the next person, except they didn’t seem to want to embrace my offer to talk. And I really honestly and truly don’t know how to start a friendship (especially with a chick, like a real friendship) other than a good ‘ole face to face chat.

Because I’m sure not slidin’ into any of their DM’s at any point.


-Yo Gotti/Down In The DM-

 

Hey Big Spender Spend A Little Time With Me

My last couple days have been super productive. Although you wouldn’t know it here since I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve just been feeling a big push to get a bunch of stuff done before the big return to school and just everything that fall brings. Maybe my vitamin shots have helped with the energy too.

So with that said, this past weekend I feel like I spent every dollar I had to my name! It started when I took Little E back to school shopping. Albeit he was far from the problem. In the morning we went through his drawers to get a better sense of what he already had, what fit and what needed to be donated. After he tried on every bottom he owned we discovered that after wearing shorts all summer, none of his jeans/long pants fit anymore (seriously child just stop growing already). So we made a mental note of what we would need and arranged to meet E at the mall. E had just gotten off of work and still needed help with getting flights to Kenya for his fathers funeral, so I figured we could just kill two birds with one stone.

I asked E to take Z and check out a travel agent while at the mall since he informed me that he still hadn’t found flights online (apparently “The Google” was to complicated for him), so E & Z went off and Little E and I started our shopping. In true male form Little E is not a fan of shopping. He was nice about it, and not annoying but every time I suggested something, he would say no thanks, I don’t need it. I did manage to get him to try on a few pairs of jeans and bought 3 that fit. But even when it came to running shoes, I was planning on buying him 2 new pairs, one for indoor at school and one new one pair just to have for everyday use. But little E was insistent on just buying one pair for indoor shoes, saying the pair he’s using now was good enough and that I should “save my money’… So I’m not sure if I should be proud of what I’ve taught him about money/budgets or embarrassed that he thinks I need to save my money? In the end though, as far as school stuff, he ended up with a few pairs of pants, his new Nikes (tradition) and a backpack that in my opinion looks to big but little E loves because who doesn’t love Under Armour? As well as the standard new socks and a couple shirts.

So if that wasn’t enough, in waltzes E letting me know he found a flight. So off we go to pay for an overly inflated flight because it’s through a travel agency and y’all know they have to take their huge cut off the top. But hey it’s E’s decision since he’s paying me back for every cent of that flight. So I drop near three grand on E’s flights (Hey Big $pender) and he headed off this past Sunday to put his Father to rest. And me being how I am, sent him a sms this morning reminding him that today his child support is due today as well as the rest of the money for the flight, because life goes on for the living.

So then, because I guess I felt that the cash I spent on Saturday wasn’t enough or something, I went on Sunday and bought a new computer. I don’t know why I say “new” like I have an old one to compare it to lol. I gave my last laptop to my sister N and her husband D when their apartment burned down a couple years ago (shortly when I returned from Kenya) and they pretty much lost everything. When that happened I started them a go fund me page and raised a few grand directly through that page as well as cash and items that were directly donated to them after we realized go fund me took a portion of the money raised. See what a good sister I am? lol. Anyways, so I bought a new desktop computer on Sunday. Partly for myself so I don’t have to continue attempting to do everything required to run my house effectively through my phone, but also, Little E will be needed some more experience with computers (and Z too I suppose) since life revolves around them now. I choose a desktop just to eliminate the argument of where is it/can I take it to my room/ why isn’t it charged that can come with a laptop or ipad.

So those of you thinking it through… Yes, up until now I’ve almost exclusively written all my posts from my phone (apart from 2 or 3 at work on my lunches). So just think of how much better my formatting and grammar will be when I can actually see the whole screen!!! I’m super excited. The computer is supposed to be delivered tomorrow, but since we head out on Friday for a couple days for my Grandma’s memorial, don’t expect to see a change on here for at least a week. Also if the delivery is late… well sucks to be me, because it will be sitting in my backyard/front step for a week until I get back (even though I was guaranteed delivery yesterday) and common… we all know a new computer won’t last a week in my backyard.

THEN, just because I’m in the money spending mood, I’ve finally figured out where and when I’m going to go on my cruise. I decided, since I’ve always wanted to go to Jamaica, that it will be a stop on my cruise. I’ve been doing research on different cruise lines and which ones are best for kids, and how they operate their “kids clubs.”

I found that most cruise lines have the kids clubs grouped ages 3-5/6-8/9-12 which for me I don’t think would work well, since Z takes time to get adjusted to new situations, unless she is with her brother. So if I want to be able to enjoy any time alone, and actually relax on this vacation, I need Z to feel comfortable being left alone in the kids club, which will be much easier if she is allowed to be with Little E. After searching the top 5 family friendly cruise lines, I found that Princess Cruise splits their kids so that the kids aged 3-7 are grouped together. So for my family, that would be perfect! They also have a cruise at the beginning of November with a stop in Jamaica, and although it’s slightly more expensive than some of the other cruises I’ve seen, it comes VERY highly recommended. Also I guess their kids programs are a little more science/education based which I know Little E will love and they have dance programs for Z which I’m just excited for because she’s my dancing queen.

I haven’t told the kids about this trip yet, and I’m thinking about seeing if I can pull off the whole wake the kids up one morning and tell them were going on vacation that day type thing? I just always thought that would be SO much fun and I know Z would be thrilled, but I am a little worried it would throw Little E off his game slightly, since he’s very into routine and schedules. I’ll have to  think it though.

Anyways, that’s what’s new with me.

OHH, also I did a closet clean out on Sunday too (like I said I’ve been busy). I’ve lost a fair amount of weight (almost 20lbs) and a majority of my clothes were very ill-fitting now. So I followed the Marie Kon method of choosing to only keep what sparks joy, and here are the results. (No I don’t have a dresser as well, this is absolutely all the clothing I own)

I need someone to start a go fund me page for me now, so I can afford to buy a new wardrobe that fits lol.


-Shirley Bassey/Big Spender-