If Somebody Asked How We Died You Look Them Straight In The Eye

😶‍🌫️ There isn’t really a good emoji to describe how I currently feel. Mainly because I currently feel suicidal. I’ve been on my new medication for two weeks exactly now, doubling the dosage one week in, and it has been messing with me. At first I thought oh I’m just not feeling myself because work … Continue reading If Somebody Asked How We Died You Look Them Straight In The Eye

You’re Shaking This Is An Awakening You’re Shaking I Know It’s A Lot To Take In

Life. Seriously. Could it get any crazier for me? I've been referred for surgery for my seizures by my neurologist. I can't remember if I've mentioned this or not since it officially happened a year ago, but over the last month I've had like 3 more seizures at night so my Dr. has amped up … Continue reading You’re Shaking This Is An Awakening You’re Shaking I Know It’s A Lot To Take In

I’ve Been Here Before A Few Times And I’m Quite Aware We’re Dying

Can I just be honest for a minute? I mean all my posts are brutally honest but for real today... and for to long lately, I've been really struggling with feelings of deep inadequacy. Like straight STRUGGLING. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and doing well, but a person can have more than one feeling … Continue reading I’ve Been Here Before A Few Times And I’m Quite Aware We’re Dying

My Mama Loves, She Loves Me She Gets Down On Her Knees And Hugs Me She Loves Me Like A Rock She Rocks Me Like The Rock Of Ages

Totally not the topic of my post but I’m at Starbucks writing this morning, since I’m meeting with a friend. Normally when I come and write here, I order my drink in a porcelain cup, you know to save the environment and not use a plastic cup and lid. So I order as per usual, … Continue reading My Mama Loves, She Loves Me She Gets Down On Her Knees And Hugs Me She Loves Me Like A Rock She Rocks Me Like The Rock Of Ages

There’s A Time That I Remember That I Never Felt So Lost When I Felt All Of The Hatred Was To Powerful To Stop

This past weekend I packed up the kiddos and drove back to my parents house to surprise them for the weekend. It was my moms birthday on the 12th, and since we won't be back for Christmas, I figured we were due for a visit. I got the Thursday off, and Monday was a holiday … Continue reading There’s A Time That I Remember That I Never Felt So Lost When I Felt All Of The Hatred Was To Powerful To Stop

Even When The Fight Is Won / Even When My Time On Earth Is Done / Even When It Makes No Sense To Sing

Sometimes I think about how difficult it would be to be 'God' I know that's an unusual thought pattern, but have you ever considered it? What it would entail to create a whole universe? And the so far thankless job it has been? I get it. Lately people have shrunk God down to a judgmental … Continue reading Even When The Fight Is Won / Even When My Time On Earth Is Done / Even When It Makes No Sense To Sing

Shawty Said The Ni**a That She With Ain’t Shit / Call Me So I Can Come And Prove It To You

So bar boy came over again. Two weekends in a row. And you know what. It was nice. Really nice. His dick is still too big and that part is annoying, but the part of having someone in my bed holding me throughout the night and waking up to morning sex and the intimacy part … Continue reading Shawty Said The Ni**a That She With Ain’t Shit / Call Me So I Can Come And Prove It To You

Don’t Hide Yourself In Regret Just Love Yourself And You’re Set

My cousin is in town on vacation this weekend with her boyfriend, and so they'll be over in the next hour or so to chill at the beach. Cool. I've only met the guy less than a handful of times and as a person he seems great. He's kind, attentive treats her well and can … Continue reading Don’t Hide Yourself In Regret Just Love Yourself And You’re Set

We Coming From A Long Bloodline Of Trauma We Raised By Our Mamas, Lord We Gotta Heal

I'm here, and alive. I truly have nothing of value to say in this post, I just have the urge to write. I know it's been a while and so here I am. Many things have happened in my life since my last post. Little E turned 9 last week, and Z's birthday is also … Continue reading We Coming From A Long Bloodline Of Trauma We Raised By Our Mamas, Lord We Gotta Heal