I received an annoying email from my boss this morning and have been in a bitchy mood since. First off it was @ 8 something on a Saturday morning. Slow your roll ding dong. Nothing good work related happens that early on the weekend. Next I see the subject line ‘Status quo for now’ and … Continue reading It’s Like The More Money We Come Across The More Problems We See
I just tried choking myself tonight in bed. Not even like in a sexual haha way. So life’s been like that. Definitely can’t be referred to as ‘set free’ that’s for sure. Strange shits been going down.
I guess a depression is the simplest way to describe it. But it’s not simple. There are so many layers to it. I’m exhausted. I feel like everything is overwhelming. I use earplugs constantly because just people talking to me is to much stimulation lately. My kids walking on the floor like regular human beings … Continue reading When You Feel So Tired But You Can’t Sleep Stuck In Reverse
You know when your feeling sad or depressed and so you turn on sad depressing music to get way in your feelings? That’s where I’m at. Like I said, the doctor doesn’t know how to solve my problems right now, so he’s decided to drug me up. And as we all know from last summer … Continue reading I Never Thought I’d Die Alone Another 6 Months I’ll Be Unknown / I Never Conquered
I got home almost a week ago. Just taking some time to absorb it all and get back into my life. I had really thought I’d be leaving the hospital with answers. Solutions. But no. Instead I have more tests to do. And more questions. The doctors haven’t outright said they are more confused than … Continue reading Don’t Ever Think That It Can’t Happen To You, You Gotta Stand On Your Own Two Win Or Lose
Zero. Zero chance of this thing getting a solution this time around. My neurologist came in this morning with all his groupies to do rounds and had a lot to say. Starting with the fact I do not have a usual case. My electrical activity is coming 24/7 from the right side, like even right … Continue reading I Am Chosen Not Forsaken I Am Who You Say I Am You Are For Me Not Against Me
4. I had four seizures overnight, and so this is a late post since I’ve spent most of the day sleeping between checkins and reapplying the leads I pulled out etc. I don’t remember the first actual seizure happening but shortly after the nurse came in and I had only been sleeping about 30 minutes … Continue reading Shake, Shake Your Body And The Blood Begins To Boil
24 hours. And they gathered very useful information. Tuesday morning the neurologist walked in with her entourage of interns/nurses/neurologist in training and said my EEG from overnight had been very informative already. The data so far had let them know that my seizures are coming from a part of the brain that isn’t used for … Continue reading Somehow You’re Always The First To Take Care Of Me At My Worst, You Are Appreciated
Seizure Investigation Unit. S.I.U. Not quite C.S.I., which was a show I used to watch all the time on Thursday nights with my dad in my early teens. That, and then Survivor, which has a new season coming in March and I totally didn’t expect Erica to win last time around but I’m WAY off … Continue reading If I Showed You My Flaws If I Couldn’t Be Strong If I Got Locked Away
Chaotic. That would be the main word I’d use. Frustrating. Annoying. Not as planned. There is so much out of the ordinary going on that’s out of my hands right now I don’t even have the capacity to pick a single word to explain it. Home. I’m still at home. The hospital started off by … Continue reading Through All Of The Chaos I’ll Find A Way Out I Know Home Is Where You Make It
How I Lost My Chains 