Who’s Gonna Walk You Through The Dark Side Of The Morning?

I had my PET scan this week. Normally the PET scan is used to detect cancer, so I’m happy to announce I don’t have cancer. That’s one good thing going for me. But after my scan I was radioactive for the day which gave me a headache 🤕.

I had to fast before the scan which is fine in general for me but I did miss my morning coffee. I got a Nespresso machine a while back and it has been my favourite thing in my whole house since I got it. It makes the best coffees so easily. Plus I’ve found this new creamer that imitates Starbucks caramel macchiato flavour. Oh man so delicious. So I have one of those to start my day and I’ve saved so much money since it’s just the most beautiful coffee, I haven’t been to a Starbucks in months. Thankfully, since I can not only not afford it, nor can I drive there lol.

But I digress, back to the scan. I had to fast, but also take my medication on an empty stomach, and then I had this radioactive sugar injection… which gave me this weird headache and later crazy diarrhea ( your welcome for that information) so I felt awful that day. But the point of the scan is to see what parts of your brain are active and absorb the sugary solution opposed to what parts don’t. So before they inject the sugar, they make you sit in a dark room and do nothing for half an hour, trying to calm your brain. No talking, no listening to music, no playing on your phone, even moving as little as possible. Then when the nurse walks in, he tries to make as little noise as possible because he doesn’t want to stimulate any part of your brain. He quietly injects the solution into a vein through a needle that was already placed in the arm and leaves you in the dark room allowing the solution to make its way around the body, being absorbed into the brain to the ‘healthy brain lobes’. Then after about another 45-50 minutes the nurse comes back to get you and take you to the machine that will take the photographs. Just like any other scan, you have to stay ridiculously still but at this time the nurse is no longer quiet. I guess they want to activate your brain now for the scan? Hopefully suggesting that the parts that aren’t as active may be the parts where the seizures are coming from because they didn’t absorb any solution. At least that’s the very basic description of how it works I’m guessing. Therefore if there were any majorly inactive parts, they may be the parts that will be removed in surgery if that is the path I continue down. The results will be sent to my Doctor in Vancouver by early this week.

So after the scan I walked to work, trying to save money on buses and taxis because still no driving. My boss was there and I told him I need next week off. I don’t think I’ve told you guys yet but I very definitely embarrassingly slightly cried on the phone to my boss this week. So to say I’ve been overwhelmed and emotional is an understatement. So I told him I needed some time off and I’m now taking this upcoming week off. So while at the office on Thursday we went over everything he’d have to do to cover for me. I’ve still been struggling with my mental health from last week. Just because I haven’t posted about it, doesn’t mean it’s just gone away. So I’m taking the time off work. The visit with the Jamaican dude helped last weekend get my mind off things, but it definitely doesn’t solve the issue. I did join a support group for people with epilepsy, and we had our first meeting this past week. But I don’t know if it’s going to be something that will be helpful in the long term. It’s a lot of people who… how do I say this nicely… I just don’t see myself finding support from them 😐. But I’ll continue with it for now. So I also signed up for online therapy (since I can’t drive) I’m really doing all I can to take care of myself, for the sake of me and my kids. My first session is on Tuesday so I’ll see how that goes. So, there’s so much happening here, as always. I know this post is chaotic, but so is my life. There’s a lot going on and I’m just trying to get it all out, so I don’t have to keep it all cooped up inside. Maybe next time I’ll be able to write about how my mom hung up the phone on me last week so I currently have her number blocked 🤦🏻‍♀️ but for now, I have to go stir the pasta sauce I have cooking because I really don’t want to burn a whole batch.

It Ain’t Me / Kygo

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