It’s my birthday. I have successfully lived 33 years. Well, I’ve lived 33 years. How successful I’ve done it can be left up for debate. I woke up sick this morning. I haven’t really been sick in years but of course it would be today. A day I was actually trying to look forward to. I was never a big birthday celebrater because I always felt let down if I got my hopes up to much. So I’d learned to just let expectations go and just… not hope for anything. But this year, this year I wanted to feel excited. I wanted to hope for good things. I wanted to be proud of the things I’ve done and have been working on in my life. Despite all the crappy set backs, I should feel like I’ve achieved something by making it 33 years. I don’t know why but I always looked forward to 33. It felt special for some reason. Like a ‘fancy’ number. Like big things would happen in my life at 33. So now I’m here. And started off my day sick, barely being able to swallow and my nose dripping like a faucet. But I’m trying to keep positive. I had to cancel a coffee date with a friend because I didn’t want to spread whatever potential germs I have to her and get my but outta bed to take my kiddos to school. Now I’m sitting in a socially distanced coffee shop drinking my free birthday drink while my winter tires get put on my car. While I look like death ☠️😏.
But apart from the awful start to my 33rd birthday, I’m focused on other things. Like the fact I’ve actually got a lot of things going on in life. Which is probably why I’m run down and my body is stressed out and sick.
Since the kids have been back at school I’ve found a lot of spare time at home to myself and so I’ve decided to start my own business. Now don’t mock me when I tell you what kind of business but I actually thought it was a very wise choice. I took classes to learn how to apply fakes lashes, so that I could open my own business and do it from my spare doom at home. I figured woman who appreciate lashes are…. I want to say superficial, but more just willing to spend large amounts of money on themselves to keep up their appearances. So I want to get in on that action. I have Fri-Sun fully available plus evenings to do it so I figured why not? Great plan right?
Well it was until the park manager where I live wouldn’t give me written consent to apply for a business license. In the MHP where I’m living (which is native land) I need the consent before I can get the license. His reason was that he didn’t want the extra traffic in the park. My opinion? Lame excuse and a control move but whatever. It is what it is.
So instead of sitting at home and pouting, I asking my coworkers husband J to look into what my house is worth and I’m considering moving. So far every idea I’ve had to make money in this darn park has been met with refusal and dead ends and I’m done with it. I couldn’t host an international student, I can’t start a home business, I could get a dog for the kids etc. I want to just move forward and live my own life in my own home. So J just sent me an analysis and thinks I could list my home for 60-70K more than I bought it for two years ago. Plus the equity I have in it from paying off the mortgage for the last few years, that’s another 15K.
So I’m gathering documents and headed to a mortgage broker AGAIN to see what I can be pre-approved for and, well where we can go from here. I’ll still stay in the city we moved to, I don’t want to disrupt my kids lives and schooling again. I just want to get settled in a place where I can spread my wings and be everything I want to be without feeling squashed. I still have dept and struggles, but maybe if I sell this place I can use some of the proceeds to pay off debt and some as a new down payment. I just want to get sorted and start my new business and feel free.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
In the meantime Happy Birthday to me. 🥳
*Edit* I just got home from the tire shop and there was a notice on my door. The park increased my pad fee rent smfh. I need outta here.
-Happy Birthday Verse 2-