I Finally Understand For A Woman It Ain’t Easy Trying To Raise A Man You Always Was Committed / Ain’t A Woman Alive That Could Take My Mama’s Place

Ten years.

That’s a long time.

But I’ve managed to raise Little E a whole successful ten years as of last Thursday when we celebrated his birthday.

No broken bones. No stitches. No visits to the principles office at school. No drug or alcohol abuse.

Just a healthy active 10 year old boy who likes video games far to much. Just me and him and Z. Every damn fricken day for the last ten years. Never a day off. Sure he’s gone for tons of sleep overs here and there, but never have I had break from him. Ever. We both need a vacation from each other.

So next Sunday, the day after Z’s birthday, I’m driving to meet my mom halfway between here and her house and she’s taking them for a week. A WHOLE WEEK. 😱 I’ve never not seen them for a day in their lives and now I get a glorious week off!

Judge my reaction all you want, but when you have been single parenting two kids for 6 years, and basically a single mom for the previous 4 years before because your ex did nothing, then you can judge me about wanting just ONE DAY OFF away from your kids. Sure they go to school or friends houses or day camp etc and I don’t see them 24/7, but I do see them when they get home. And it’s only them gone overnight or for the day. And this mama can’t afford to send them both off to overnight camp for a week. So here we are.

So excited for time apart.

So excited that I literally have no idea what I’m going to do with myself for 5 full days to myself. Obviously I have to work. But then what? I won’t have to be yelling at them to clean up after themselves, or finding things for them to do because their bored. Or sorting out arguments. Or putting them to sleep. My whole lifestyle for the past ten years will be disrupted. And what’s more, I don’t know what to fill it with since it feels like such a sudden change. All my friends are parents of my kids friends. All our activities are kid based. Anything social we do has a children’s theme to it.

I have no life outside of my kids and highly doubt I can build one in 5 days that would be high quality and worth entertaining.

So most likely, I’ll just end up sleeping. A lot. Uninterrupted sleep.

Because at this point 10 years in, that’s what I crave the most. That and a nice quite meal to myself. At this rate, it may be another ten years before I get a break like this. So I’ll try and enjoy it while I can.

-Dear Mama/Tupac Shakur-

4 thoughts on “I Finally Understand For A Woman It Ain’t Easy Trying To Raise A Man You Always Was Committed / Ain’t A Woman Alive That Could Take My Mama’s Place

  1. I’m not judging at all. Raising and supporting two fine children is ruddy hard work!

    It will be strange that they aren’t here, but you’ll enjoy it too. If Husband isn’t home one night for dinner (if he’s away etc.) I will often use that as an opportunity to have a takeout or cook something I normally wouldn’t make for us both as he doesn’t like it, like fish or shellfish. Maybe that’s something you could do in terms of eating a nice meal ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome poem. After she and my dad divorced, my mother raised three kids on her own and she did such a great job although it was so hard on her. I still don’t know how she did it and I could never be half the woman she is. She knew how to make a house a home and we had all the love in the world. With that said, your children will appreciate it later if they don’t already. You are to be respected and admired.

    Liked by 1 person

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