I had a terrible…. ‘thing’ happen Saturday night. I want to say nightmare but I wasn’t sleeping. I wish more than anything right now that it was a dream, but I was wiiiiiiide awake unfortunately. Which makes it all the more terrifying.
To be honest I didn’t realize it was happening until it was over. Because it all felt to real. It’s like to realities merged together in some very scary mind bending alternate universe but at the same time it was in my head. Yet out of my head since it happened to me/with me. Ugh this shits to hard to write to explain. There aren’t words enough to do it justice. It’s like either you feel and experience it or you don’t.
But there I was in the moment and I was understanding someone else’s thoughts. Like I was living the things he was thinking of doing to me. It was horrible and terrible and disgusting and morbid, yet in that moment I couldn’t pull myself out because I didn’t realize it wasn’t this true reality to me in that time. I went from relaxing one moment to experiencing all these feelings and emotions and sensations that were not of me but the guy I was with. And it wasn’t until I was able to find my own thoughts and control my own mind purely, that in one horrible rush, all the energy of his rushed away from me. Like I melted away from myself and the experience zoomed down from my head to my toes and the room melted into the place I had seen when I first walked in. All the things I had been seeing in less than an instant rushed back into his mind and he lay there still. Not a care in the world. Not a clue that I had just seen and experience everything I think he was thinking. Because I KNOW I didn’t make those thoughts on my own.
I was beyond scared. I was immobile. I could hardly breathe. I wanted to cry and scream and melt away into nothing. But as my breath returned and I calmed down, I’ve began to think long and hard about that time. And the seemingly countless others I’ve now come to have in the past with various others. Sure perception probably plays a role in this somehow but today I’m focused on how I experienced his thoughts.
And for me, it boils down to this.
The collective consciousness.
There is no proof that our thoughts are maintained in the brain. Maybe they are produced there, but a thought is not a tangible thing that must be stored within a body as most would assume until now. If I have been able to clear my thoughts and solve the majority of issues I’ve been handed in my life so far to a point that I’ve have no qualms with others. No issues of contention with others thoughts, then it could stand to reason that I would have a clear path in my consciousness that would allow me to easily access the thoughts/consciousness of others.
This, however, has not been enjoyable for me. If you’ve read my blog for a while, like a few years, you know this journey of consciousness has been a long and tough one. I don’t think it’s something that can be achieved overnight. We have years of thoughts built up in this physical lifetime, not to mention however much pain etc may be passed down through DNA and what not. Then on top of that, I now risk exposing myself in times of vulnerability to others minds without meaning or wanting to. Plus, I highly doubt some people want their thoughts that must be on the outer edge of their minds that they’ve hidden in the deepest darkest part away from their centre to be exposed and viewed by others without permission.
In a way, it’s a beautiful thing to consider and hope for and believe in. But… I think in general people would want to start cleaning up their own thoughts before they know they may be experienced by an outsider.
But that’s just my personal opinion. I know I’ll be working on what I think even in the darkest recesses of my mind, in the unknown. On the off chance it may be touching someone else’s mind and affecting them.
I have been working on it. And will continue to with every conscious thought I make.
-Together/Kirk Franklin, Tori Kelly & FOR KING AND COUNTRY-