Friday night my kids daycare had a Christmas party where they sang a few songs and had a visit from Santa.
Where to start. Straight off the bat I thought it was kinda strange that they would be having a “concert” at daycare, but whatever C, let it be. So we showed up at 6, where I was surprised to see some of the kids in their Sunday best for this shin-dig. Here my kids are still in whatever clothes they had picked themselves to wear to school that morning and I’m pretty sure Z had been doing some sort of paint project at school since it was covering her shirt, but whatever, let kids be kids right? So here are my two children looking like scrubs but happy, amongst the rest of the kids who looked great, but half of them were crying as the night got late, since they were younger and really didn’t get this whole ‘concert’ idea.
Anyways, this thing was a freakin’ disaster from start to finish. The staff had NOOOO clue what they were doing, and kept herding kids from one place to another and then right back from where they came because there was no communication. Then they had taped/hung some sheets in front of the kids cubbys for a backdrop or something, and used heavy Christmas ornaments/statues to hold the sheets up. Well the kids kept backing into the sheets, causing the statues to fall and two kids were smacked on the head during the singing, which caused more crying and chaos to ensue. Kinda hilarious for us parents of the non-hit kids to watch. I’m awful I know.
Then this one staff member L, who I actually think is the owner which makes it worse, wouldn’t just let kids be kids. Like when you go to a kids concert, you expect to see the cute stuff like nose picking and shyness etc. But if any of the children were’t doing the exact action, she would crawl over, getting in front of the other kids, therefore messing up any videos parents were taking, and literally hold their arms and wave them around herself. Like it was ridiculous. Lighten up a bit will you?
THENNNNNN, oh here’s where we get to the part that actually made me mad. And I can’t remember the last time I was MAD like this. Call this a rant I don’t even care, this need to be discussed and I need to get these feelings out because I was PISSED.
So, Santa was about to make his appearance. All the kids were herded upstairs (again so disorganized, but that’s not my point) and made to sit in silence, which I question since they were taking pictures with Santa, not videos, but again, not what actually made me mad, just would’ve done things differently myself considering it was supposed to be a party not a funeral home. The same L lady told all the kids they would get to have a picture with Santa and they would be choosen in order of goodness, which yeah started to bother me, because they should never be judged on character in front of each other. But as soon as she said that I saw my girl Z sit up so nice and straight and fold her hands on her lap, a position she held the entire time. Santa Ho Ho Ho’d his way in and her face lit up. She’d been talking about him all week. All the details of his visit, where will he park his reindeer? Is he scary? What will he look like? Will he know her name? On and on and on. Little E knows Santa is not real, but he played along with me in getting her prepared for this visit and she was so excited for this moment. So when L said kids would get to sit on his lap for a picture in order of goodness, I wasn’t too impressed, but when she started choosing kids willy nilly, I was like well that’s not really cool, it probably leaves kids wondering why aren’t they “good”enough. But when she choose kids yelling in her face, and running around the room, I got annoyed. But what absolutely pissed me to no end, was to see one by one, she chose each and every *white* kid in the entire daycare, until the only 4 who were left were my 2, and 2 other mixed race sisters.
I was incensed. Especially because as I observed L’s decisions I realized that she didn’t give one fuck. These 4 kids were probably some of the best behaved kids in the room. They sat perfectly quite in their spots without shouting out or causing trouble in anyway. But she blatantly chose kids based on “goodness” in front of them and picked kids who were very obviously behaving worse than them. And parents other than me noticed. And since it’s not obvious that I’m my children’s mother, discussed her poor choosing right in front of me. I was not the only one who noticed this palpable racism. But I’m probably the only one who did anything about it.
After all the kids had finally had their turn, Z stuck around. She was the only kid who was so deeply enamoured with Santa that she went back for a couple hugs after, staying to watch him until the very last moment after all the other kids had gone to eat cookies and other treats. Like when I say this was a special moment for her, I mean she’s been talking about it non-stop. Calling her grandparents to discuss it in depth after and telling me all the dreams shes had about him since. This has affected her.
What affected me, was how her and her brother were treated along with the other 2 girls of colour. Never in my life have I seen my kids treated like this. We have lived in various cities in Canada as well as 3 in Kenya and my kids have always been treated equal to their peers, their skin never coming into play so unmistakably. So I left there with a hot head. and couldn’t let it go. If this is how they are treated on a day to day basis at the place that is supposed to care for them and teach them basic life lessons and values, then it’s an issue. A big issue. And my blood was boiling.
I couldn’t sleep that night without doing something, so I sent an email to the daycare stating my issue. Sure it could have been an oversight, and maybe it was by chance, but it was not a chance I was going to take. If my children are looked upon as less than because of melanin, then it’s a big issue that I don’t take lightly, and it needed to be addressed. Don’t worry, my email was way less wordy and not nearly as ranty as this. I explained my concerns and noted that if this was an situation that continued, then we would need to continue to examine it further. And yes I spell proofed and edited much better than this post lol. Anyways, no word back yet. Hopefully my kids don’t get kicked out of daycare for it? Although would the daycare be stupid enough to take that kind of recourse, because honestly at this point if they did something as overt as that… well then I have a case.