This whole adulting thing is not for me. I’m either too immature for it or not reading any of the signals correctly, or just ridiculously ill prepared for it and quite frankly I don’t want it. If I could bring some magic receipt back to some store of life and say I would like a refund on… everything, just take it back and I actually don’t even need my money back, just my sanity or perhaps the finality of a quite death, I would be a completely satisfied customer.
Anyways, I had the following conversation yesterday with a dad of Little E’s friend.
So originally in my mind he was asking if Little E wanted to hang out with his boy today, seemed harmless enough. But then nope, somehow I got it wrong and he was actually inviting his son over to my place, which to me seemed weird all on it’s own but I actually preferred it this way so Z would get to play too. So I was honestly totally fine with it. Fast forward to this morning when I went out for groceries before the playdate and ran into the kids mom at Superstore. Real small town vibes here. Anyways we got to chatting and I brought up how funny it was about the text yesterday and the misunderstanding etc. Seemed fine and dandy to me, but then 1:00 o’clock rolls around and the kids dad drops him off and he can’t even look me in the eye. I’m just like what is going on? So he brings up the fact that his wife mentioned how I was offended over yesterday’s conversation… Wait what? Not at all! I thought it was an easy misunderstanding, pretty silly once you read over the texts, you understand it could have been taken either way from the start. So I said I was completely fine and explained the whole Z thing and how this is better for us anyways. But he could barely look at me the whole time.
I’ve had this man in my house for games night with his family. We’ve drank beers together and although we’re not the best of friends given how new we are to the city, I thought by now he would’ve picked up on how easy going I am. What I do think happened though, is his wife made this to be a much bigger deal than necessary to the point it became slightly awkward between us.
That, is a major reason why I’m not a fan of adulting. If this had happened on the playground of some kindergarten class, the kids would’ve just all stood there together, most likely screaming at each other until they all felt their voices were appropriately heard, and then the situation would be nearing done. But as we grow older, there are more “protocols” or “social norms” we must follow. We have to make sure no ones feelings are hurt and we have to “be gentle” to each other. We have to be careful not to step on each others toes at the possible detriment of our own other relationships or our own feelings, perhaps embarrassment included.
I was fine with the text and was ok to just have Little E’s friend come over. I told his mom when I saw her at the store not to spread gossip or to get his dad in trouble, but because she’s my new friend too and I thought it was a funny story and I was making conversation. But somewhere along the way, things get twisted and blown up until a simple event became a full blown situation.
Something that could have just passed and become an easy memory that we might even chuckle at one day, becomes a scar or blemish on our record because thoughts occurred that suggested feeling were hurt. And it went down the rabbit trail from there.
Which is why I’m digging around looking for my receipt on adulthood. Being a child was such a simpler time, and to be honest, it’s all our fault.
-Blink 182/Here’s Your Letter-