You Seem To Have A Plan My Will And Self-Restraint Have Come To Fail Now

I've gained a bunch of weight again. Last fall/winter I did so well (for me) and lost 49 lbs/3.5 st/22.5 kg take your pick and reached an impressive 206lbs  (impressive for me).  For those of you keeping track I was 5 foot 10 and 255lbs at my heaviest. Yes I know that's considered obese or … Continue reading You Seem To Have A Plan My Will And Self-Restraint Have Come To Fail Now

Lately, I’ve Been, I’ve Been Thinking I Want You To Be Happier

Yesterday I got my head outta the clouds and took my kids out. We went to Toys'R'Us and after browsing around for a good hour, they each got to pick out a toy. I figured this was the best way to treat myself for my birthday and get over the birthday blues, would be to … Continue reading Lately, I’ve Been, I’ve Been Thinking I Want You To Be Happier

We Gon’ Party Like It’s Your Birthday And You Know We Don’t Give A Fuck It’s Not Your Birthday!

Yesterday was my birthday. I feel like that's all that needs to be said. Since my day was as lame as that sentence. I "celebrated" 31 years of life by just making it through the day. No cake. No gifts. No flowers. No nothing. No one even told me Happy Birthday to my face until … Continue reading We Gon’ Party Like It’s Your Birthday And You Know We Don’t Give A Fuck It’s Not Your Birthday!

I Find Myself Longing For Change And In The Bad Times I Fear Myself

Monday I had a friend over and I got so drunk. Something I've done less than a handful of times in my entire life. Drinking is really not something I find desirable shall we say. Anyways, life has been stressing me out more than normal and so I just let it all go. Nothing crazy … Continue reading I Find Myself Longing For Change And In The Bad Times I Fear Myself

So Please Help Them With Your Youth, They Seek The Truth Before They Can Die.

So it's here. That's time of the day when the kids have gone to sleep and the lunches are packed and the house is clean because I spent all day vacuuming (I even did between/under the couch cushions) and mopping and scrubbing. All three loads of laundry are clean and folded and even put away. … Continue reading So Please Help Them With Your Youth, They Seek The Truth Before They Can Die.

You Used To Call Me On My Cell Phone Late Night When You Need My Love Call Me On My Cell Phone

I know. My posts have been less than juicy lately. The thing is, my life has been boring af. My parents were in town like I said, and then I got sick and apart from work, I've barely left my house. I have like zero interest in guys because, well I just don't wanna stir … Continue reading You Used To Call Me On My Cell Phone Late Night When You Need My Love Call Me On My Cell Phone

Cut The Ties Send A Flare Into The night / Turn The Tide Dry Your Tears And Wave Goodbye

So no more calls. Not from K. Not from any guys in or out of the prison named A all the way through to Z. Which is disappointing since I got a new phone last night and it's just more exciting to have a new phone....well when the phone rings in any capacity. But give … Continue reading Cut The Ties Send A Flare Into The night / Turn The Tide Dry Your Tears And Wave Goodbye

Will You Remember Me? Don’t Let Your Life Pass You By, Weep Not For The Memories Remember The Good Times That We Had

Thanksgiving has come and gone here in Canada. My parents came in for the weekend, flying in on Saturday and left on Monday. It was a short and sweet visit, made better by the fact that we managed to keep it a surprise from the kids until the very moment we spotted them at the … Continue reading Will You Remember Me? Don’t Let Your Life Pass You By, Weep Not For The Memories Remember The Good Times That We Had

My Cousins Are Crazy / When I Started Out I Just Took What They Gave Me / When You Livin Like This You Supposed To Hate

Caller #3. Last night I got a call from the prison again. Which I thought (again) was weird when I saw the number show up on my phone. For so many reasons I'm sure you could guess, but the main one being that T (the guy who wrote the phone number wrong last week, for … Continue reading My Cousins Are Crazy / When I Started Out I Just Took What They Gave Me / When You Livin Like This You Supposed To Hate

I Put My Feelings On Safety So I Don’t Go Shootin’ Where Your Heart Be

Those phone calls threw me for a major loop. I've been doing my best in moving on from K. Settling in here in Kelowna, trying to forget. But those calls brought back all the memories I was trying to put behind me. All the pain and feelings of not being good enough. So I needed … Continue reading I Put My Feelings On Safety So I Don’t Go Shootin’ Where Your Heart Be