So today I teared up when I went for a pedicure. All because the guy doing my toes took off his gloves near the end and touched my feet with bare hands.
It was the first skin to skin touch I’ve had in months and it almost made me cry.
It’s beautiful here. Sunny and hot and people are friendly, but I crave intimacy.
It’s gotten to the point that I’m pretty much going to resort to my old behaviors of online “dating.” Although why they call it that I’ll never get. Not one of those boys ever took me out on a date. But anyways, I signed up again just to maybe feel someones arms around me again. However fake.
I haven’t been with a guy since K. But… well just but.
I guess I got hurt so bad, and maybe thought that we might end up together, that I’ve held off. But reality is harsh. And the reality is he’s moved on. So far on… at least I assume he has. We haven’t been talking and I don’t know why he wouldn’t move on. And it’s time I do the same. It’s past time I did the same… but I kept hoping.
So I made my ridiculous profile this weekend and got my ridiculous messages. And now I find myself in the position of having a guy about to come over tonight.
He seems fine. But all I can do is compare him to K, which I know I have to stop doing. My only saving grace at this point is that I got my period an hour ago… so that’ll help restrain me.
I’m honestly so looking forward to the possibility of a man holding me though.
Pathetic, I’m well aware.
-Adele/I Miss You