Pull Me In, Hold Me Tight, Don’t Let Go / I Want To Step Into Your Great Unknown With You And Me Setting The Tone

So today I teared up when I went for a pedicure. All because the guy doing my toes took off his gloves near the end and touched my feet with bare hands.

It was the first skin to skin touch I’ve had in months and it almost made me cry.

It’s beautiful here. Sunny and hot and people are friendly, but I crave intimacy.

It’s gotten to the point that I’m pretty much going to resort to my old behaviors of online “dating.” Although why they call it that I’ll never get. Not one of those boys ever took me out on a date. But anyways, I signed up again just to maybe feel someones arms around me again. However fake.

I haven’t been with a guy since K. But… well just but.

I guess I got hurt so bad, and maybe thought that we might end up together, that I’ve held off. But reality is harsh. And the reality is he’s moved on. So far on… at least I assume he has. We haven’t been talking and I don’t know why he wouldn’t move on. And it’s time I do the same. It’s past time I did the same… but I kept hoping.

So I made my ridiculous profile this weekend and got my ridiculous messages. And now I find myself in the position of having a guy about to come over tonight.

He seems fine. But all I can do is compare him to K, which I know I have to stop doing. My only saving grace at this point is that I got my period an hour ago… so that’ll help restrain me.

I’m honestly so looking forward to the possibility of a man holding me though.

Pathetic, I’m well aware.

-Adele/I Miss You

11 thoughts on “Pull Me In, Hold Me Tight, Don’t Let Go / I Want To Step Into Your Great Unknown With You And Me Setting The Tone

  1. Your feelings are quite natural, and I apologize for being a downer, but please be careful with letting a stranger into your home on the first date, girl. I know this advice is unsolicited, but meet out in public a time or two, just to be safe. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I respect myself to find and then give myself what my body has been craving. Something to stop the sporadic crying my kids have been putting up with. To satisfy my needs. To fulfill my desires. I’d say that’s pretty respectable… to listen to what my body has been telling me for months before I fall into a full on depression

          Liked by 1 person

  2. @Natalie , I agree and disagree with your statement. I for one understand where this young lady is coming from. I have even said the exact same things you did. When you have been alone for a time, all the nice and pretty words mean nothing. It is what your body wants, your flesh yearns for the touch of other flesh. Mankind was not meant to be alone. If they were, It would not have been Adam and Eve. It would have been just Adam. For some people, time is not something we have the pleasure of an abundance of. You do you girl, I know you will take care of yourself. For now, have fun and enjoy the touch you have been longing for. Guard yourself somewhat but live in the moment!


    1. Ahhh thank you lol. The best comment so far. I don’t invite homeless guys off the street. I obviously talk with them for a bit. And I completely understand that people can lie, although I’m pretty good as gauging an individual right off the bat. I’m looking to fool around with scum. I’m just looking to live my most enjoyable life. 5 months was enough without for me, and this outlet made me happier, which in turn makes me a better mom, employee and all around human.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can’t say I blame you girl. I wish I knew your actual name or at least an initial so I could refer to you properly outside of, “her” or “she” or “young lady”.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Well C that is good enough for me. Now I can refer to you by “name” instead of “her”, “she”, or “young lady”.

            Liked by 1 person

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