I don’t care about titles anymore

It’s been a while.

A long stressful while.

I was sick last week just from everything going on in my life and just didn’t feel like writing, nor did I have the energy. I honestly can’t remember what I’ve told you so far about my recent life shenanigans, so I’ll just start off where ever and hope you can fill in the blanks as needed…. Great blogging at it’s best hey?

So. I had an offer on my house and after a few negotiations back and forth, we settled on a price, where I’m loosing money on the deal but we all knew that was going to happen from the get go. The inspection went fine. They got their financing in order. Everything should be good to go right?

AHAHAHAHAHH. Nope.

Turns out when I took it to my lawyer to do up the final paperwork, they require E to sign. Ummm? Excuse me? WTF for? This is my house. I’m the only name on title. I bought it AFTER I filed for divorce. E has never lived there, never paid a bill, never had any responsibility for this house. Why in the goddamn mother fucking world do I need HIS signature to sell MY house!!!?!???!??!!  Well “apparently” the lawyer says, it’s so he can’t come after 50% of the sale. It’s so he understands what I’m doing with my property. WHAT THE FUCK! It’s my property. My name is the only name on the property. There should literally be no need for his signature. And we all know how long it takes for that idiot to sign anything. So I asked my lawyer what happens if E doesn’t sign this house document? To which he informed me that the buyers could sue me for breach of contract for at least the value of the house, if not more if they can’t move in when they were supposed to get possession (which is April 10th).

So here I am. Everything was all arranged and looking good. I even had finally made an accepted offer on a great place in Kelowna, which I won’t even discuss now, since right now, I’m back to E fucking up everything in my life.

I have been calling E and texting him since the weekend trying to explain how important this house paper is for him to sign. I asked him to make an appointment with his lawyer so he could go and sign. So he told me he made an appointment for yesterday (Tuesday) at 3. I asked him no less than a dozen times if he was sure he had an appointment, and if he was ready to sign, he said yes.

So I offered to drive him. I wanted to make sure he got to his appointment on time. So I left work early yesterday to go and pick him up. He still hadn’t sent me his address, so I had to go looking through old emails and texts to find it, meanwhile hoping he still lived at that house. All day he wasn’t answering my calls so I’m just hoping he hasn’t taken off somewhere and that he’s actually still planning on going to this meeting. Around 2 o’clock I’m parked outside what I think is his house and I”m calling him and texting him repeatedly. At this point I don’t care if I look like a stalker, I actually had a brief moment where I thought maybe, just maybe this whole E fiasco could’ve been finished yesterday. All the papers could’ve been signed and I would’ve been free.

But no. He’s not answering my calls or text’s even when I said it was an emergency… give me a break, to me it was an emergency. And it was even more annoying because I could see that he was on WhatsApp reading my messages. So I’m sitting there in my car deciding if I should go knock on this door where I think he’s renting a room, when he walks by my car.

So I laid into my horn for much monger than necessary but it felt so good. He turns and I yelled at him to get in.

That’s when I lost it. I vented so many years of anger I’ve had towards him. I yelled and cursed and screamed and cried and just basically told him how much I hate him for ruining my life.

And of course he just sat there not understanding what was going on with his hands between his legs staring ahead at nothing. Story of our lives.

I didn’t even feel better after I was done my rant because I knew it fell on deaf ears. All I wanted him to understand was that I needed him to sign the papers TODAY.

So we arrive at his lawyers, where he has guaranteed me he had a 3 o’clock appointment.

He didn’t.

He literally just walked back into his lawyers office and sat down even though the lawyer was with another client (I was so dumb to ever marry this body) so the lawyer had to tell him to wait outside for a minute as his finished up with his current client. I was sitting in the waiting room (like normal people do) and I saw the other clients walk out a minute later.

Then I hear E go in and his lawyer ask what he’s doing there since he didn’t have an appointment (surprise surprise). So E said he was there to sign. Then his lawyer says he ADVISES E NOT TO SIGN!!!!

I can hear this from the waiting room and I’m like hell no! So I walked to the room, and interrupted them by asking him why he would advise him not to sign, if he specifically said he came here to sign? Is this what you as his lawyer have been doing for the past 4 years? are you the reason I’m still married? I honestly felt like in that moment he was taking advantage of E and his disability. So the lawyers like who is this to E, and E’s like oh she drove me.

So I’m like I’m C, I drove him because he said he had an appointment and he wanted to sign the documents that you for some reason are telling him not to sign? Why?

To which the lawyer got all flustered and told me to get out off his office, and of course I replied back with the obvious that I wasn’t in his office I was standing outside the door. ;0 And that he should respect his clients wishes, if E wants to sign, let him sign. To which he stood up walked towards angrily me saying things like who am I to tell him how to do his job/get out of the office etc. SOOOO I said his job was to get us divorced. And if he couldn’t complete that in under 4 years he was failing at his job miserably, so maybe he needed someone to monitor him and watch to make sure he was doing his job and not taking advantage of individuals who have no idea of whats going on because they are so mentally disabled like E. What was he trying to do? just rack up more chargable hours? Which by the way E can’t pay because he quit his job over a month ago, but I didn’t tell the lawyer that. That’s just something I get to stress on all on my own, not having the child support income.

Anyways, I walked out of the office and got into my car and drove a little ways away and started crying. My realtor was calling trying to figure out what to do about this E thing, my lawyer was calling asking if I had any suggestions. And I literally just wanted to be left alone. If I had ANY idea on how to persuade E on how to sign a simple paper, I wouldn’t still be married now would I.

So I just cried. I drove away and left E to find his own way home. And I cried. A lot. And I got very frustrated and overwhelmed to the point where I felt that nothing, nothing was worth this… whatever this was. And I decided to go home and kill myself. (welcome to my very honest blog)

So I got home near 4 o’clock and grabbed a knife from my kitchen and walked down to the basement. Where I cried. A lot. I tried calling K but he was at work and it went straight to voicemail, which frustrated me even more. So I started toying with the knife around various body parts and that’s when my mom called.

And so I answered and just cried. She thought E had hurt me again as I started telling the story, but it wasn’t that. It was just reaching the end. Just being so utterly exhausted that you didn’t feel you could go on. I was talking on the phone with my mom when K called back and we had a perfect conversation that I really needed.

 

OOOOHHH my God.

So interrupt everything. My lawyer just called and said E’s lawyer sent her an email saying he doesn’t think E is capable of signing and he needs a full medical evaluation before continuing. Story of my fucking life. I’m done for the day.


 

6 thoughts on “I don’t care about titles anymore

  1. I’m so sorry…reaching the end of your rope is so disheartening and it makes you feel hopeless. Sending you positive, healing thoughts that this somehow all gets sorted out…

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  2. Oh my fucking gawd!!! I have had these types of roller coasters in my life and can fully relate to what you’re saying. Honestly sometimes life just hits us with way too much huh. I hope you keep finding the strength to drag yourself through all this crappy stuff and that one day soon you’ll look back on this and laugh at the devil for even thinking he could bring you down! Huge hugs!

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  3. I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I really, sincerely hope that things start looking up for you. Even though I must say, you are in a way better position than you were just a few years ago.

    Keep your head up. And keep writing.

    -B

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