The Power Of Equality Is Not Yet What It Ought To Be / What I See Is Insanity Whatever Happened To Humanity

#HumboldtStrong

A hashtag that has unfortunately cropped up over the past week here in Canada and a few places around the world. For those of you in the dark, it’s a symbol of an accident that happened between a semi truck and a bus carrying a junior hockey team on their way to a game. The result of the crash so far has been 16 deaths, multiple injuries and a huge outpouring of support, both across our nation and worldwide.

As of yesterday, the Go Fund Me page, who’s initial goal was to pay for maybe coffee and parking for the families visiting the hospital, surpassed $11.5 million dollars, making it one of the top 5 Go Fund Me pages ever.

Now I’m very divided on this. (Of course I would have an opinion on it lol). Am I super proud of people rallying around these families in support of their lost loved ones? Obviously! It’s never easy to lose someone unexpectedly. Which brings me to my inner struggle.

Why has this particular accident garnered so much attention? Is it because of the ages of the “victims” *reminder this was not a malicious attack, but a car accident…accident.*  Or is it because of the sheer number of lives lost at once? Or is it because they were so seemingly innocent on their way to a sporting event? Was it because so many of us could relate to that experience, driving a child to a game or competition? Was it because NHL teams started donating and showing support, so hey, if they are doing it, it must be big/important?

But lets be honest, is $11.5 MILLION really necessary? I understand medical procedures are expensive, but why? Why can’t doctors “fees” become less expensive? Or hospital stays become cheaper? Why does it cost thousands of dollars to run a scan… any scan? Even more to the point, why are funerals so damn expensive? For real? Not to be crass here, but you are literally either digging a hole in the ground, or burning an empty carcass (I know that’ll offend a bunch of you, but those are just facts). So, I’m honestly wondering why medical bills can be racked up so quickly? Or maybe it’s just because when you’re THAT sick and it’s an emergency situation, hospitals know you’re in no position to go shopping around for the best deal, and can quite literally charge you anything after the fact. Leaving you alive, but slapping you with a huge bill.

On the other end of the spectrum though, is why did so many people turn to support this cause in such a tremendous way, when accidents, or even unfortunately purposeful killings/murders happen all the time? Are those families less deserving of support? Do those loved ones somehow struggle less because their kids didn’t die along side their peers on the way to a game representing our national sport? Are the medical bills somehow reduced or procedures preformed pro bono? Are funerals for those individuals who die in car accidents preformed at a reduced price?

Nope. Not a chance. Death has become a profitable industry.

Everyday people die. Some peacefully in their sleep, and some in more horrific ways then we could ever dare to imagine, and their families are left to deal with that tragedy alone.

Most compelling though, was an article I read today about a small town mayor here in Canada that I had to in some way both admire, and for some reason it kinda pissed me off. He refused to lower the town flag in honor of the individuals who passed away in the Humboldt accident. When questioned about it, he stated basically that the flag was not lowered for the 30 people who died in a mosque shooting nor for the 7 individual who where killed in the gay nightclub killing, and no one questioned that. So why should it be lowered now? What made these deaths more deserving? But then he went on to say that we needed a legislation to state when and for whom the flag should be at half mast for, thus the part that pissed me off.

But he made the point I’ve been trying to say all along. Why should we care more about these boys (and female Physical Trainer) that died, than any other person who is killed in our country? I doubt that was his point, he just wanted to have a set of rules to follow straight across the board, but it’s my point.

Why should more respect, care, help, support etc. be shown to these families, than people in similar situations.

Just because the pain may not be on such a grand scale to the person looking at a fatal accident involving only, say one death in comparison to Humboldt,  doesn’t mean that an entire family hasn’t lost a brother, or father, or uncle etc. To them, the pain is just as devastating. In fact, in the case of an “everyday death’ it may be even more so, because on top of their loss, they are now struggling with how to pay for ridiculously expensive medical/funeral costs on top of everything.

It seems messed up to me.


-Red Hot Chili Peppers/Power Of Equality-

 

You Spin My Head Right Round, Right Round Just Like My Mind Where I’m Goin’

You guys. My life should literally be a hit TV show. The drama is NEVER ENDING!!!!

Ok. Buckle up and get ready. Or sit down with a cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate (no judgement) and relax, whichever suits your fancy. But here’s the latest saga of my crazy life.

So, my new lawyer went on Monday to special chambers (should that be capitalized? Does it matter?) to get an order to dispense of E’s dower right’s on my house. Basically to let me sell it without his “permission.” The outcome on Monday was bitter sweet. First, technically, the order was granted. BUT (there’s always a but), unfortunately my lawyer made an error in the letter that he sent to E’s lawyer. So E’s lawyer thought the appearance was yesterday (Tuesday) instead of Monday. Therefore, the order from Monday was pretty much pointless and my lawyer, being the decent guy he was, went again yesterday to court meeting E’s lawyer. The upside is that he wasn’t going to charge me for both, geez thanks.

Yep. On Tuesday the order was granted again, BUT (yes again), it’s conditional on me providing the purchase documents of my new Kelowna property.

So, lol, the problem with this is some time over the past couple days, I can’t even remember the exact day anymore with all this craziness, it came to light that the new property management company of the park where the place was that I was going to buy, implemented a new month to month lease agreement. So on the recommendation from my realtor as well as a few other people in my life with real estate experience, I backed out of that house deal. Basically, if I bought that particular house, I would be living in a place that I might have to move out of in a months notice, and I just didn’t need that stress on top of everything else. You know what they say, pick your battles.

So, yes… the order was granted, but on the condition that I provide the purchase documents on this Kelowna house, which I can no longer do. So I emailed my lawyer last night after he told me the jist of things and I explained what had happened regarding my Kelowna place. I explained that I do still plan on moving, as well as purchasing a new place, but just not that particular one, and asked how badly does that fuck everything up… not in those words though.

Fast forward to today, where I have to cut a $14,000+ check to release my current mortgage, and my realtor’s saying the keys have been released etc. So I’m feeling like I’m in a catch 22 seeing how everyone is moving along as if things are just dandy. I already let my lawyer know what the deal is. And so if he’s informing everyone the order’s good to go, maybe I should just ride with that. But, maybe for some reason he didn’t get my email about the Kelowna property and thinks everything is kosher, which is why they are processing everything as if there is no longer an issue.

I don’t want to put to much in writing to my realtor or real estate lawyer just in case they are allowed to move ahead anyways. I don’t wanna make a move that fucks things up even more. So since I’ve sent my email last night to my lawyer and again one this morning to his assistant, I think that’s good on my part? No? Yes?

Aghhh, I hope it’s good. Because living with my mom again who expects to have hour long pointless conversations every night is enough stress in my life at this point lol.


-Flo Rida/Right Round-

I Could Be Right, I Could Be Wrong It Hurts So Bad, It’s Been So Long Mama, I’m Coming Home

Ok.

So it’s Monday. And of course so much has happened over the weekend (as per usual).

So we last left off with the email from E’s lawyer saying that Mr. lawyer dickface wanted E to go for a full mental evaluation to ensure he is capable of signing any documents before moving forward. He also ‘forbid’ me from moving the kids out of the province at this time (whatever). The literal best part of the email though, is when he said I forced E to have his phone on, connected to mine while I waited in the car and E went into his office, so that I could monitor their conversation. Literally! His lawyer wrote that. I’m like dude, I was sitting in the waiting room, and your office is 5 steps away at most, and the door was open. All it will take is a quick look at either/both of our phone records to see that you’re lying out your ass!

Like you guys, his lawyer is a slimebag. So, instead of sitting and dwelling on the ridiculousness of the situation, I fired my cheap legal aid lawyer who we’ll all admit has done nothing over 4 years, and bit the $4,000 retainer bullet to hire one of the best family law lawyer’s in the city. After a 15 minute phone call with him, he had already laid out a plan about what steps he would take and when. So I met with him on Friday, and he’s already in court TODAY to try and dispense with E’s dower rights (his right to my house), and then we’ll move on with the rest of the divorce. His main premise was if Mr lawyer dickface thinks E isn’t competent enough to sign, and is requesting a mental evaluation, then why should we be waiting for his signature? It’s obvious to everyone involved that he’s very mentally sick, and therefore my life should no longer be held up by this. And his lawyer should have known this sooner.

Sooooo, I went ahead and moved out of my place this weekend back in with my parents in preparation for this supposed house sale that was initially going to close tomorrow (April 10th) but depending on what happens in court… Well we’ll see. Either way, I have to pay $14,000.00+ to close out my mortgage and realtor fees etc. Needless to say I no longer have any money for a down payment between that and my new lawyer, which means I’ll probably lose the beautiful place in Kelowna I found (and have an accepted offer on currently) because of a lack of deposit. I’ll probably end up renting at this point. So that sucks.

The move? Let’s just say living minimalistically helps immensely at a time like this lol.  I packed my first box on Thursday, since I still didn’t know if  the sale was going to happen or not at that point. Heck I still don’t know. Anyways, I packed everything in the house between Thursday and Saturday while also working and meeting lawyers and all that fun stuff. I moved most of my stuff out to my POD/storage bin myself, since I wanted to have everything as ready as possible for when people came to help yesterday.

It took 6 of us 1.5 hours yesterday to move all the big furniture out to the bin and then I stayed for an hour to clean, and that’s that.

Goodbye house.

Now, we’re back at my parents house where my Dad has officially nicknamed me the boomerang. A very fitting and undesirable monkier. My mom asked how many times I’ve moved out and then back home and at this point I can’t even attempt to count, but it’s easily half a dozen.

Yea me.


-Ozzy Osbourne/Mama I’m Coming Home-

I Don’t Care About Titles Anymore

It’s been a while.

A long stressful while.

I was sick last week just from everything going on in my life and just didn’t feel like writing, nor did I have the energy. I honestly can’t remember what I’ve told you so far about my recent life shenanigans, so I’ll just start off where ever and hope you can fill in the blanks as needed…. Great blogging at it’s best hey?

So. I had an offer on my house and after a few negotiations back and forth, we settled on a price, where I’m loosing money on the deal but we all knew that was going to happen from the get go. The inspection went fine. They got their financing in order. Everything should be good to go right?

AHAHAHAHAHH. Nope.

Turns out when I took it to my lawyer to do up the final paperwork, they require E to sign. Ummm? Excuse me? WTF for? This is my house. I’m the only name on title. I bought it AFTER I filed for divorce. E has never lived there, never paid a bill, never had any responsibility for this house. Why in the goddamn mother fucking world do I need HIS signature to sell MY house!!!?!???!??!!  Well “apparently” the lawyer says, it’s so he can’t come after 50% of the sale. It’s so he understands what I’m doing with my property. WHAT THE FUCK! It’s my property. My name is the only name on the property. There should literally be no need for his signature. And we all know how long it takes for that idiot to sign anything. So I asked my lawyer what happens if E doesn’t sign this house document? To which he informed me that the buyers could sue me for breach of contract for at least the value of the house, if not more if they can’t move in when they were supposed to get possession (which is April 10th).

So here I am. Everything was all arranged and looking good. I even had finally made an accepted offer on a great place in Kelowna, which I won’t even discuss now, since right now, I’m back to E fucking up everything in my life.

I have been calling E and texting him since the weekend trying to explain how important this house paper is for him to sign. I asked him to make an appointment with his lawyer so he could go and sign. So he told me he made an appointment for yesterday (Tuesday) at 3. I asked him no less than a dozen times if he was sure he had an appointment, and if he was ready to sign, he said yes.

So I offered to drive him. I wanted to make sure he got to his appointment on time. So I left work early yesterday to go and pick him up. He still hadn’t sent me his address, so I had to go looking through old emails and texts to find it, meanwhile hoping he still lived at that house. All day he wasn’t answering my calls so I’m just hoping he hasn’t taken off somewhere and that he’s actually still planning on going to this meeting. Around 2 o’clock I’m parked outside what I think is his house and I”m calling him and texting him repeatedly. At this point I don’t care if I look like a stalker, I actually had a brief moment where I thought maybe, just maybe this whole E fiasco could’ve been finished yesterday. All the papers could’ve been signed and I would’ve been free.

But no. He’s not answering my calls or text’s even when I said it was an emergency… give me a break, to me it was an emergency. And it was even more annoying because I could see that he was online on WhatsApp reading my messages. So I’m sitting there in my car deciding if I should go knock on this door where I think he’s renting a room, when he literally walks by my car.

So I laid into my horn for so much longer than necessary but it felt so good. He turns and I yelled at him to get in.

That’s when I lost it. I vented so many years of anger I’ve had towards him. I yelled and cursed and screamed and cried and just basically told him how much I hate him for ruining my life. Let’s just say it was a few years of built up stress.

And of course he just sat there not understanding what was going on with his hands between his legs staring ahead at nothing. Story of our lives. I didn’t even feel better after I was done my rant because I knew it fell on deaf ears. All I wanted him to understand was that I needed him to sign the papers TODAY.

So we arrive at his lawyers, where he has guaranteed me multiple times that he had a 3 o’clock appointment.

He didn’t.

He literally just walked straight back into his lawyers office and sat down even though the lawyer was with another client (I was so dumb to ever marry this man) so the lawyer had to tell him to wait outside for a minute as his finished up with his current client. I was sitting in the waiting room (like normal people do) and I saw the other clients walk out a minute later.

Then I hear E go in and his lawyer ask what he’s doing there since he didn’t have an appointment (surprise surprise). So E said he was there to sign. Then his lawyer says he ADVISES E NOT TO SIGN!!!!

I can hear this from the waiting room and I’m like hell no! So I walked to the room, and interrupted them by asking him why he would advise him not to sign, if he specifically said he came here to sign? Is this what you as his lawyer have been doing for the past 4 years? Are you the reason I’m still married? I honestly felt like in that moment he was taking advantage of E and his disability, just doing anything he could to rack up more hours through E. So the lawyers like who is this to E, and E’s like oh she drove me.

So I’m like I’m C, I drove him because he said he had an appointment and he wanted to sign the documents that you for some reason are telling him not to sign? Why?

To which the lawyer got all flustered and told me to get out off his office, and of course I replied back with the obvious and very cheeky retort that I wasn’t in his office I was standing outside the door. ;0 And that he should respect his clients wishes, if E wants to sign, let him sign. To which he stood up walked towards me angrily saying things like who am I to tell him how to do his job/get out of the office etc. SOOOO I said his job was to get us divorced. And if he couldn’t complete that in under 4 years he was failing at his job miserably, so maybe he needed someone to monitor him and watch to make sure he was doing his job and not taking advantage of individuals who have no idea of whats going on because they are so mentally disabled like E. What was he trying to do? just rack up more chargable hours? Which by the way E can’t pay because he quit his job over a month ago, but I didn’t tell the lawyer that. That’s just something I get to stress on all on my own, not having the child support income.

Anyways, I walked out of the office and got into my car and drove a little ways away and started crying. My realtor was calling trying to figure out what to do about this E thing, my lawyer was calling asking if I had any suggestions. And I literally just wanted to be left alone. If I had ANY idea on how to persuade E on how to sign a simple paper, I wouldn’t still be married at this point now would I?

So I just cried. I drove away and left E to find his own way home. And I cried. A lot. And I got very frustrated and overwhelmed to the point where I felt that nothing, nothing was worth this… whatever this was. And I decided to go home and had no idea what to do with myself. (welcome to my very honest blog)

So I got home near 4 o’clock and walked down to the basement. Where I cried. A lot. I tried calling K but he was at work and it went straight to voicemail, which frustrated me even more. That’s when my mom called.

And so I answered and just cried. She thought E had hurt me again as I started telling the story, but it wasn’t that. It was just reaching the end. Just being so utterly exhausted that you didn’t feel you could go on. I was talking on the phone with my mom when K called back, and I told my mom I had to go, because I didn’t want K freaking out if I didn’t answer because I’d left him a pretty desperate voicemail, and we had a perfect conversation that I really needed since he always pulls me through.

OOOOHHH my God.

So interrupt everything. My lawyer just called and said E’s lawyer sent her an email saying he doesn’t think E is capable of signing and he needs a full medical evaluation before continuing. Story of my fucking life. I’m done for the day.