Cause We Dope Girls We Flawless, We The Poster Girls For All This / I’m Feelin’ Myself

The dreaded swimsuit.

I have put off buying a new bathing suit for myself for years (no exaggeration) because like the majority of females, I hate it. Pure and simple. Last time I attempted to take my kids swimming a few months ago, my halter style suit’s neck strap broke while I was getting it on and as a  result we never went. That was the first time I’d been swimming in over a year at least, and I never even made it in the water. So, since I no longer trust E to take the kids to the pool, and it’s an important part of any childhood, I decided that I needed to get to the mall and put myself through the torture in order to enrich my kids lives.

Ok. So since it’s not really swimsuit season, I knew from the jump my options would be limited as far as stores that would be carrying them now. I headed straight to the specialty store that sells only swimming gear. I figured that would be as good as any place to start.

My normal go-to as far as what I like for style? Black, and one piece. Which pretty much describes my entire wardrobe so why change it up when it comes to the water right? I thought I’d try on some of those styles that are out now, where the one piece cuts high on the leg, and then has a low back, and low.. I dunno what you call it… armpit hole?  You know, fairly simple. So I take a few options in the change room and prepare for the worst.

Well I didn’t prepare myself enough. Because as per usual, I forgot that every one piece is made for someone who is between 5’2 and  5’7 at most. Now me, who’s pushing the upper edge of 5’9 found that to be so unenjoyable. It’s not that I couldn’t get them on. Naw that part was fine. It fit everything fine until you reach the boobs. Because, apparently every bathing suit was designed for tits that were 4 inches below mine. The sales lady was like “Oh I’ll just loosen the straps for you” I’m like no thanks, I’d rather not have saggy boobs” I just want a suit where the cups are up where my boobs are. So then she thinks she has a brilliant suggestion of going up a size or two. Ummm? Why? So I can have a saggy ass when I step out of the water?

I tried on 5-6 suits at that one location and they all had the same problem no matter what the style, so I moved on to another store. At the next store, I had similar issues and was getting frustrated, until I found one that had no cups because the whole front was lace up, so therefore the boob issue was non-existent and I actually liked it. The cost? $156.00. Yeah, no thanks. I’m not paying that much for a suit that’s going to give me ridiculous tan lines and not even protect the girls from nipple-gate. But it was sexy as hell…. in case anyone wants to invest in it for me 😛 j/k.

So then I decided to take a break from the bathing suit shopping since I had all but given up by then. In my attempt to distract myself however, I did find the PERFECT red lipstick! Rihanna’s Stunna lip paint is amazing you guys. I have been on the hunt for the perfect red for years now and this is worth every bit of the $30+ I paid for it. Especially considering I’ve spent probably close to $100 total on others that I’ll just be tossing in favour of this now. It goes on great, stays on all day, doesn’t bleed, like everything about it was perfect. So that was a positive turn in my day.

I decided to try one more lingerie store on the way out just on a whim, I wasn’t even sure they sold bathing suits to be honest, I was just browsing. But I saw a couple in the back and I figured I might as well.

I found THREE that I liked! (La Vie En Rose for those of you wanting to know… worth checking out) It was the most successful bathing suit shopping trip I’ve ever had! I only bought one, because there’s no need to be excessive, but I love it. It fits me so well, and I feel great in it!

I can with 100% honesty say this is the first time in my adult life that I have felt good in a bathing suit. Actually scratch that. I don’t just look good. I look gooooood. Like damn good.

I took the kids swimming after little E’s hockey game today (which they won, I know it doesn’t seem important, but it’s their first win all season so I have to shout him out), and I actually found myself looking at myself in the mirror and being happy with it. And not just happy, but like impressed. lol. Like I look the best I’ve looked in longer then I can remember.

The suit hides all my stretch marks, and hugs all my curves. It has just the right amount of sexiness, because I’m a mom but not a grandma, and for the first time, (I wanna say in a long time, but it would be more honest to just leave it at: for the first time… ever) I felt confident, and beautiful, and sexy, and hot, and perhaps even desirable.

And it was in a fucking swimsuit no less.

I’ve come a long way you guys.

-Nicki Minaj Ft. Beyonce/Feeling Myself-

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