So today I finally signed up for Good Life gym. I did a little research on a few different gyms, and this one just seemed to fit my needs the best. There’s one literally right down the street from work downtown right now, plus one close by my current home. There’s also one in Kelowna for once we’ve moved, and there’s no transfer fee so that’s decent I guess. I managed to milk my membership for all it’s worth though lol. I signed up for the two year membership, which cuts down on the monthly fee, and I plan on using both here and once I move long term so why not get a cheaper rate if I know I’ll be sticking with it right? I also got them to give me 6 weeks free access before my fees kick in instead of the 4 week offer that’s currently on, just because I’m amazing like that. I also still asked for the 3 free visits before the 6 weeks free starts, because, well why not right?
As soon as I walked in the door though, I remembered why I’ve avoided the mass market style gyms for so long:
- Girls going at like level one on the treadmill not even breaking a sweat, but shaking that bottom just enough.
- Guys walking around with their chests puffed out, making laps around the gym (behind the above mentioned chicks on treadmills of course), but I never actually saw them lift a weight.
- 4-5 staff members standing around the front desk, gossiping about who knows what….Loudly.
- The gym selfie people. Either the guy just finished a huge set and thinks his veins are popping, or the girl is perfectly poised to start her hot yoga class. All there in droves, posting to instagram stories I’m sure.
- Girls travelling in packs like if they separate from the group, the weak ones will be picked off by the ravenous looking men. (It’s a thing, trust me)
All that fun stuff. Plus throw in the mix 2 guys I recognized from… well you know what from. I don’t even remember their names to be honest. All I know, is once I got changed and started my workout, Creep A (since I can’t remember his name) “casually” moved right to the machine smack dab in front of me to use.
I’m seriously doing EVERYTHING I can to focus on my squats. I pull my hat brim down low, my music is up high, I’m literally looking straight past him trying to focus on my form and count off reps… But I can’t help notice that he’s only benching as much as I can (well that and the fact he had the worst sweat on his pants down the middle of his ass crack).
It’s like, dude. First off, I know it was only a one night stand, but why did I ever give this guy a chance? Secondly, buddy, don’t try and impress a chick by benching less than 150, just a little hint. Like I know we all have to start somewhere, and I’m 100% for each of us taking steps towards bettering ourselves, cause look at me, prime example here. But guys. Honestly. Don’t try to impress a girl by benching one plate, and looking like you’re struggling. It’s not attractive in the littlest bit. A girl wants to at least imagine that you can sweep her off her feet while fantasizing about y’all, even if it’ll never happen. You struggling with one plate just wipes all illusion about that away. Just a tip (that’s what she said). If you can’t bench more than that, but really wanna try and catch her eye, then walk away and do something you’re good at, which I’m going to assume is the treadmill or something cardio related, judging by all that swass.
Anyways, I finished my squats while ignoring him and moved on to some deadlifts, and I could see he had missed my switch, because while I’m in the middle of my set and watching my form in the mirror, I see him come around the corner scanning the room, blatantly obvious that he was looking for me. Once he spotted me he ducked back behind the wall, not at all subtle, but 5 seconds later walks back in to a bar near me again. Ok Creep A. If you wanna hit me up, just grow some balls and come up to me and talk to me, so I can turn you down face to face. Don’t stalk me around the gym while it’s obvious to everyone there that I’m trying to pretend like you don’t exist. Some other guy actually asked me if Creep A was bothering me, that’s how noticeable it was.
I realized upon leaving though, that this is probably going to be something I’ll have to deal with. Being the downtown location of a “brand name” popular gym, and the fact that I like guys who stay in shape… This is most likely not going to be the only time I see guys I’ve slept with there. So I guess it is what it is. The one upside I can think of now, is that at least my body looks 50 pounds better than when any of them saw it naked.
And it only goes up from here.
Or down I guess lol. I don’t plan on gaining that weight back.
-LMFAO/Sexy And I Know It-