You Painted Yourself, A Thousand Times, As If You Never Got It Right. You Lay Awake, With A Mirror Above Your Bed.

Ohhhhhhhh my goodness. I currently look like Frida. And not in a good way.

My kids are sleeping over at my parents house tonight and so instead of sit around the house doing nothing, I had the bright idea to go get my eyebrows microbladed, which is something I wanted to actually do for myself for my birthday back in October but things just never worked out.

So anyways after the kids left I started my search on decent mircoblading places and ended up finding a place right down the road that had really good reviews. I called them up and they said they could get me in right away. So off I went.

Well first, the tech and I discussed my brows, in which I felt I was pretty clear about how I liked my eyebrows and how I wanted them to look in the end, which in all honesty was exactly the same shape, just darker. All if which seemingly went right over her head despite all her nodding and uh-huh-ing. Then she did a quick threading, which I’ve never had done before. Actually I’ve never had anything done to my brows other than at home tweezing. No threading, no waxing, no lazer, nothing. My brows aren’t bad (well they weren’t pre this lol) they just aren’t very noticeable, so if I’m putting any effort into looking good, I’ll fill my brows with a little shadow for the biggest wow effect.

So anyways, after the threading, they looked pretty much the same. In hind sight, I shoulda stopped there. But woulda, coulda, shoulda, hey? Then I had to sit with a numbing cream for a solid half hour forty-five minutes before the blading began.

The numbing cream didn’t work that well  on the first eye. I could feel every scratch as she dug it into my eye, it was not pleasant. I also kept thinking that they feel like loooong ass lines instead of feathery-like whispy strokes I’d expect to mimic hairs. Then, she announced the first one was done and would I like to see it before she started the second. Sure, why not hey? But then after I said yes, she worked on it for another solid 30 seconds, making me wonder why she had announced she was done in the first place, before finally grabbing a mirror for me.


I honestly can’t even think of a person to properly describe my brow except the dad from American Pie. Eugene something or other… I was literally shocked. But now I’m committed. Like I’ve come this far, I can’t have only one ridiculously bushy brow and one fine thin one right? So I have literally no choice but to let her continue with the next one. Meanwhile regretting my decision the entire time.

So she did the next brow, which to be fair didn’t hurt at all, I think the numbing cream had had more time to take effect by then so I honestly didn’t feel any pain. it was done in few minutes and again she pulled out the mirror, which I didn’t even want to glance in, because I was just so done with this whole thing by this time. But I looked and the whole time I’m just trying to figure out what the fuck I can do to solve the problem of these huge fuzzy caterpillars crawling across my forehead. They looked big. Just big.

But then, to make matters even worse, if that was possible, but yes, it was. She said that now she was going to apply additional color to allow it to soak in. And then.. THEN… AFTER IT WAS OVER, she advised me that they would look pretty dark for a couple days, and hopefully I didn’t have any big plans for the next little while. WHAT???? Now you say that? What if I had a big date that night (baahhahaha) or something? But for real? That’s probably something you should advise at the beginning of the procedure, in case I in fact DID have somewhere to go. Anyways, she continued to literally paint the colour stuff (I have no idea what they actually use for this process) on my brows in a think layer, and says to leave it for at least TWO days to soak in.

I look in her mirror, and I 100% look like Z took a bold black sharpie and thickly coloured in my brows… and she wanted me to leave them like that without washing them for two days???? Ummm nope. Not happening. As soon as I got home, I wiped as much of that crap off as I could. There was no way I wanted them to be any darker than she had already made them. The more I looked in the mirror at home, the more I fully realized how much she had mutilated my previously nice brows. She drew so many lines outside of my brow shape that it looks awful now. Biggest aesthetic mistake of my life.

I’m supposed to go for a touch up in 4-6 weeks. So as the days have gone by (I started this post on Sat and it’s now Wed, because, well, life) they have lightened, which is good, but they are still so much bigger than I ever wanted. I will go back for my touch up, since I’ve already paid for it in the initial price. But I’m going to make it soooooo clear, I don’t want any lines outside my natural hairlines. Just to darken where my own hair is.

And yes. I realized how superficial this post is. But sometimes it’s just easier to talk about stuff like this instead of the real important going ons in my life. Mainly because I haven’t figured out the words to properly describe it yet.

And yes, now that it’s Wednesday, my brows look better, just MUCH bigger. and darker than I’m used to. And not what I wanted. Kinda like life lol.

Also… I didn’t review or proofread this post in the slightest, sorry.

-Tinpan Orange/Song for Frida Kahlo-

5 thoughts on “You Painted Yourself, A Thousand Times, As If You Never Got It Right. You Lay Awake, With A Mirror Above Your Bed.

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