So, my lawyer is now also not responding to my emails, which means we will be closing in on 4 years this February as far as how long this divorce is taking. I was only married for 4.5 years before I filed for divorced so this has officially become so ridiculous that I feel I have little left to say on the matter. Other than maybe it would be better off to be rich. To be able to afford a lawyer who gives a shit about my case. Who actually invests time and energy in getting things done for me because I’d be someone more valuable to them.
Seems the theme of my week. People only wanting me for what they can get out of me. I feel so empty, like I’m constantly doing things for other people and have very little, if no return on my out pouring of love.
It’s hard and leaves things very unbalanced and hollow. Drained.
I had my work Christmas party on Saturday. Which I attended alone. Which sucked. To be the third wheel, or in this case the 5th wheel. To not be able to take part in conversation because it was very “coupled” centered. I found myself with my thoughts drifting off for most of the night, as hard as I was trying to partake in the event. It’s just that my life doesn’t align with their’s, which is fine, but I was basically pouting for the night.
They were all drinking and enjoying their loved ones, and I was just there. Alone. Not nearly as drunk as them, since I’m not a big drinker. I ended up leaving early because my babysitter needed to get home, which was fine by me, gave me an excuse to leave. And they ended up going to a third venue without me, which was probably for the best.
I’m just getting annoyed at being alone.
Yet at the same time, being stuck with E who won’t sign the damn papers and let me be free.
It’s literally the worst irony ever.
-System Of A Down/Lonely Day-