Such A Lonely Day And It’s Mine The Most Loneliest Day Of My Life

So, my lawyer is now also not responding to my emails, which means we will be closing in on 4 years this February as far as how long this divorce is taking. I was only married for 4.5 years before I filed for divorced so this has officially become so ridiculous that I feel I have little left to say on the matter.  Other than maybe it would be better off to be rich. To be able to afford a lawyer who gives a shit about my case. Who actually invests time and energy in getting things done for me because I’d be someone more valuable to them.

Seems the theme of my week. People only wanting me for what they can get out of me. I feel so empty, like I’m constantly doing things for other people and have very little, if no return on my out pouring of love.

It’s hard and leaves things very unbalanced and hollow. Drained.

I had my work Christmas party on Saturday. Which I attended alone. Which sucked. To be the third wheel, or in this case the 5th wheel. To not be able to take part in conversation because it was very “coupled” centered. I found myself with my thoughts drifting off for most of the night, as hard as I was trying to partake in the event. It’s just that my life doesn’t align with their’s, which is fine, but I was basically pouting for the night.

They were all drinking and enjoying their loved ones, and I was just there. Alone. Not nearly as drunk as them, since I’m not a big drinker. I ended up leaving early because my babysitter needed to get home, which was fine by me. And they ended up going to a third venue without me, which was probably for the best.

I’m just getting annoyed at being alone.

Yet at the same time, being stuck with E who won’t sign the damn papers and let me be free.

It’s literally the worst catch 22 ever.


-System Of A Down/Lonely Day-

10 thoughts on “Such A Lonely Day And It’s Mine The Most Loneliest Day Of My Life

  1. You are never alone. In a sense that your family who went on before you, who made sacrifices to give you a better life, live on with you. DNA is an amazing gene and makes us who we are. My two older sons were basically stolen from me through the court of Ohio, I did not have money to afford a lawyer, but I did my very best to file the proper papers in Alaska, which at the time was their custodial state according to federal law. I was at least able to use one of my mentors as a mediator to work out a custody agreement. I am still seeking to have them in my life more that the little time I get them. We all face hardships in life, by remember you are loved and never alone.

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  2. I clicked “like” because “sad” wasn’t an option. I feel your pain. I feel your loneliness. I sense the unfairness of your predicament. Your writing is so open and transparent. I send my heart—felt wishes for a better tomorrow. Hang in there!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and reach out. I try and write whatever I feel. Some people don’t appreciate it, but I have to remember that I write to write, not to please others. But it does help when others get what I’m trying to say.

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  3. These feelings won’t ladt forever. I’ve been divorced for almost 25 years. Took. Me two years after the divorce to get back into life. Dated a few frogs and some princes, but finally i have been bitten by the live bug. Met my new partner. Give the process a change to work its way out of your life

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  4. Omg Omg. I’m going to post some posts for you!!! ❤ Please be aware that since you're still breathing, you still have a greater purpose. I have felt like that so many times before!!

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  5. Do you have your lawyer’s paralegal or legal assistant’s email? Cheaper to contact her (let’s be honest, 99% are female), and often quicker responses. Even just to see if your lawyer’s busy with a trial or something?

    Like

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