Ladies! What is wrong with us? Apparently the majority of the female population are putting out this vibe that we don’t give a fuck? That we aren’t there to support or listen to men. It’s absurd how many guys, after ONE night/date/phone call/what have you, will tell me I’m so easy to talk to, or that I really listen, or that they should be paying me for my therapy services, or they feel really comfortable around me unlike other girls in the past.
This truly baffles me. Because I don’t feel like I’m doing anything extraordinary that any human being shouldn’t be practicing on a daily basis.
I make conversation. I make a honest effort to get to know people. I enjoy making people smile, but I also know there’s a time and a place for that. I understand sympathy but because of my life I hold a large amount of empathy in many situations. I don’t think anyone’s thoughts are invalid, dumb sometimes yes, but I understand everyone has their own opinions.
What I don’t understand, is how so many men, seem to have never met a woman who listens like I do. Because it’s so simple. Men have issues and feelings that they need someone to talk to about, probably even more so than chicks, because they most likely don’t have a group of gal pals they gossip with every Friday night unlike some people…. But they don’t wanna tell a woman all their issues so the girl can tell them what do with it, or try to solve the problem for them. But instead they just want to talk with a woman so the man feels support in the choices he’s making. If he feels he trusts the girl enough, then believe me, I know by experience, he will ask for your advice, and because it’s welcomed and invited at that point, 90%+ of the time, he’ll actually take it. Shocking hey?
But if girls are just either not going to want to listen to men talk about deep stuff in their lives in the first place, or listen only to tell the guy what to do? Then the guys aren’t gonna wanna talk. They don’t want to be shit on when they share their feelings, because let’s be honest, it’s probably a strange thing for them to do. Men aren’t raised to discuss emotion, so if they have gotten to the place where they feel comfortable opening up to you. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND JUST LISTEN. If they specifically ask for your advice, that’s when you can say what you think you should do. Other than that, just be the shoulder they feel comfortable leaning on. Nod your head once in a while. Absorb the words they are saying. You don’t have to respond to every comment with your opinion/comment.
I try to always remember this saying I heard so many years ago.
“Most people listen to respond, they don’t listen to hear.’
And since then I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to listen to hear what a person is truly saying. Sometimes I pause, think it through, I even ask myself if it requires a response, then if so what direction should it go. Because sometimes an individual won’t speak the exact words directly, but the meanings or implications are there if you are seriously making an effort to hear.
I dunno… it’s either really working, or really not, depending on what way you view my situation/life 😂
-Elvis Presley/A Little Less Conversation-