Oh. My. God. (Becky look at her butt… Just kidding)
E is just so frustrating. He was in town this weekend off from work and asked to see the kids. Sure, that would give me a chance to catch up on the house work since my house was a disaster zone after my nieces slept over and I just hadn’t had the time it needed for a good scrub.
So I asked him if he had any ideas of where he wanted to take the kids or what he wanted to do with them, and (of course) he suggested the SAME place he always takes them. At this point though, I’ve learned to stop suggesting other things. I figure if he wants to bore the hell outta the kids that’s his problem, and he’s just gonna turn my suggestions down so why bother. But I know he feels comfortable there so we decided on a time for me to drop the kids off at the play center and that was that.
When we got there, E was late which is no surprise, so the kids and I fooled around in the car for a bit while we waited for E. I will never understand why he is constantly late. I hate it when people are late. I always let E decide what time is good for him, since he busses it, and I figure he would be able to time it better. But by know I’ve learned to show up about 10-15 minutes after whatever time he says, yet even with me showing up “late” he was still not there.
Once we finally see him saunter up to the car…ever…so…slowly… OH MY GAWD just watching him walk drives me crazy. Z is 3 and walks MUCH faster than him. It’s like his brain can’t even tell his body to move faster than at a snail’s pace. Its infuriating. So he finally gets to the car and then just stands there. Doesn’t wave hello, doesn’t open the door. Nothing. So I motion for him to open the door, and roll down my window so we can discuss a pickup time and what’s happening with the kids etc. Well apparently he only had time to spend about 2 hours with the kids this time around. The kids he hasn’t seen in a month, and he was willing to sacrifice a whole 2 hours to be with them. Special hey? Especially since I can’t imagine anything else he could possibly be doing since he has zero other friends or commitments to attend to. But 2 hours it is.
So we confirmed I would meet them at 1, at a restaurant nearby so the kids could have lunch and then we all went our separate ways.
I had a bunch of things I wanted/needed to get done but and tried to plan my couple hours accordingly, but as per usual E called early at 12:30 asking when I was going to be at the restaurant because they were already waiting for me. I told him I hadn’t planned on being there until 1 (Like we decided) and to go ahead and order for himself and the kids and then reminded him to use the kids menu for them… because this is E and I can never be too safe in assuming he knows normal person protocol.
I got to the restaurant around 12:45 and found them sitting and coloring nicely which was comforting to know E could handle them in public to a certain extent. I ordered a latte and then the food arrived. Lunch went fairly simple, with me keeping the conversation going and trying to get E involved but it was a no go. I had to head to the dollar store next to buy envelopes and invited E with us. He agreed, and off we went. I told him to please keep an eye out for envelopes for me, but ended up finding them myself. Then in true E fashion, right after I told him I found them and put the box in my basket, he proceeded to ask an employee where the envelopes were…. while standing right in front of them. Like seriously? Aggh.
As we headed out to the car I reminded him that Little E’s birthday is this Sunday, and how I was planning on getting him a new bike, would he like to contribute, or did he have other plans? Meanwhile knowing full well he hadn’t even considered getting Little E anything yet, but at least giving him a chance. E said sure and so I asked if he was free to go now to SportCheck to purchase the bike. He said he had a dentist appointment, but it was ok to go now. E is terrified of the dentist and will do anything to avoid it, so off we went to buy a bike.
SportCheck… Oh SportCheck, We found the bike section no problem, and Little E tried a few before he picked the one he felt the most comfortable on and started riding it around the store. E was useless in the process. An employee came to help us at one point and directed his first question to E, I can’t remember what it was, but I had to intervene from around the corner because E just stood there with a blank look on his face. Something about training wheels I think. But I had to actually say “He’s not sure” and then just asked E to occupy Z so I could deal with Little E and the bike situation. Once Little E had picked one, I confirmed with E that the price was ok with him and it was. The employee said if we took it to the “bike shop”, they would tune it up and make sure it was good to go for us.
While we were waiting at the bike shop counter Z had to use the washroom, I was going to take her, so E could pay for the bike, so the lady gave me directions to the washroom, and I started walking. But then I heard her ask for our address, and I knew I should stay to do the paperwork instead. So I asked E to take Z. His first question? Where is the washroom. What? She literally just gave the directions! So I repeated them for him and off they went.
Little E and I finished up with the paperwork and went to meet E & Z at the washroom to avoid having E wander the store. What I didn’t expect though, was to have them walk out the WOMENS washroom.
WHAT!!!!! When he came out I was like what the heck are you doing? You’re a man! A grown man! You should be in the MENS washroom. He was like, Z’s a girl so…. and his voice trailed off. I asked him to please use the men’s bathroom from now on, and just hoped with everything in me that there were no ladies in the bathroom when he walked in.
I was so glad to get out of that store and away from all the people E had basically embarrassed us in front of (again).
It’s my never-ending story, yet I feel for some reason he’s taking a downwards turn. I truly wonder how he survives on his own. And I have to continually remind myself that yes, I can help him, but I cannot be responsible for him anymore. I can’t have that additional stress on my life. So while I help him here and there, I also have to often take a step back and remind myself that I’m no longer his wife, and I don’t have to shoulder that burden anymore.
Sometimes it helps. Sometimes not so much.