Have you ever been in a relationship or just a friendship where you felt like they were your everything and you were just ‘something’ to them… at best?
Or where you can’t be with them because of a dumb or made up reason and you find yourself always having to contain your feelings/emotions for them because you know how you feel for them won’t be reciprocated?
So you go around day after day, pretending that how your friendship, as it stands, is enough for you when deep inside your screaming for more, but at the same time worried to push for what you want because then you might lose the little that you have.
It’s infuriating. To love someone who doesn’t love you.
It’s embarrassing. To want someone so much.
It’s degrading. To continually be pushed aside.
It’s humiliating. To feel like I still want more despite all this.
It’s just fucken annoying. That I have so much more to say, yet can’t say it to the person that matters. For fear of losing it all.
-Frank Ocean/Bad Religion-
I have been a relationship like that. Realized the dumb made up reasons only meant the ‘relationship’ was not meant to be. Real relationships will endure perceived limitations – it is the nature of all relationships.
I really do relate though. What has helped me is to ask myself what it is that I am seeking to draw from that
person, or, what do I need from them such that I would ache for more?
I don’t know if I’m right but I concluded that what I ached for could not be found in another. Only withIN. Yes,
unrequited love hurts, but what makes it bearable, even enjoyable, is to be able to give love fully regardless or whether it can be reciprocated. It seems this is the truest nature of love.
My hope is for you to connect in time to the truest of love’s embrace, where you no longer ‘want’ and your value and worth is never of question.
You described me with my “one that got away.” I was stupid to think she had any feelings for me beyond the friend from the music hall of my high school that she knew.
Sucks hey
It did.
We’re going through this at the moment, its heart breaking to watch from the outside, because you dont want to see anyone in pain.