Friday night, my kids spent the night at my parents house. Which was the first time in a while that I had the night off (like you all know from my Mother’s Day rant). So originally I had plans for May 19th with a certain someone, but as with life, plans change. So I ended up going out with a few friends for appy’s and drinks and then spent a few hours on the dance floor where I danced with anyone and everyone and it felt SO good.
I haven’t had a reason to dress up (although I wore a t-shirt, jeans and my chucks but I actually did my hair and makeup) in so long. And I haven’t been hit on in public in forever. Probably because I’m never out past like 7:30 at night without my kids. So it was just such a stress reliever. Just good ol’ fashioned fun. And I love dancing. But I was asked 4 times for my number and managed to not give it out once. Because this was just a night for me. And not me trying to hook up with new guys. Like yeah I’ll dance with you for a while but I’m not interested in seeing you another day. This was for the then and there… and that was it.

I was dropped off back at home around 3 AM and then slept til around 10 ish without having to worry about the kids. Well that’s a lie. I was awake around 6:30 out of habit but after going to the bathroom decided to go back to bed. Then since I still had the day to myself before I had to pick up my kids, I went to get another tattoo.

I only had two previously, but I’ve been wanting another one for a while now. It was a work in progress since I had to get the piercing first a couple of months ago, let it heal, then I could do the tattoo to go with it. But I’m happy about how it turned out, and excited about what it represents.

The dermal piercing head is the bird, and the tattoo is the empty cage. Showing there are no longer any bars holding me back, and how there’s nothing but freedom ahead. 

And then E and Z for my kids.

When I showed little E the tattoo and explained that the E was for him and asked him how it made him feel, he shyly said special. And that’s all I needed to hear. I told him and Z that they are special to me. Now and forever, which is why I’ll have them with me always. His smile…. I’ll never forget that moment.

But more importantly for myself, to never forget what it felt like in that cage, and as a reminder that I made it out once, so don’t lock myself back in.

The choice is only mine.

-Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa/Young, Wild & Free-