E had big hands. Huge hands. Like it was ridiculous. We went multiple times to different jewelry stores looking for the perfect wedding ring for him. I asked him so many questions about what he would like, what did he want it to look like, how big, what style. I really wanted him to like his ring. The issue though, was his fingers. His fingers/hands/knuckles what have you, had been broken/injured so many times playing rugby that finding a ring to fit was proving to be more effort then it was worth in the end. Any ring that would fit over his knuckles would just hang loosely around the base of his finger once on.
I researched so many options because I wanted it to be perfect for him. I found a company that will take a ring and put a clasp in it, so you could open it and then once on, tighten it, similar to a watch. The cost to alter a ring was crazy but worth it (I thought at the time) for E to comfortably wear his ring. Since we would be spending a fair amount on the customization, my dad offered his dad’s ring for us to use to save us money on the gold. My Nonno had passed away years before and my dad had been holding unto that ring tightly. He didn’t even offer it to my older sister when she got married.
I accepted the ring and knew the importance of it to my Dad in regards to the memory of my grandfather. E just kinda was glad to get it for free. Because I know for sure he didn’t value it at all.
After the marriage, any time we had the littlest disagreement, he took the ring off. If anything escalated into an argument, he would take that important part of my family history and walk outside the front door and would chuck it. Normally way over the roof in a dramatic fashion. In fact we didn’t even have to be arguing. One time he did it because I simply asked him if he got high after a game. The first time I found it in the backyard while weeding and stupidly gave it back to him. The next time our neighbor was mowing his lawn and ran it over. The third time it was gone for good. Never once did E go out looking for it on his own time, or show any remorse for what he had done. There was never an apology linked to him loosing that ring. Not even loosing it, but deliberately throwing it away, never to be found again, and not even a simple I’m sorry. My deceased grandfathers ring was thrown out like last weeks garbage, because of E’s temper.
The ring I spent so much time, effort and money on meant nothing to him. He used to insinuate that by taking off the ring we were done. To him, it was as simple as throwing it away and he would be done with me. I never once saw him out there looking for it. It didn’t matter to him. It was no big deal to him. I was no big deal to him. I could’ve easily been thrown away like that and he would’ve cared just as much.
The story of our marriage.