House Warming. It Was Cold As F**k

After we’d been married about two months, I wanted to throw a little house warming/ gathering party at our new place. It would be the first time we’d had a group over and I thought it’d be fun. I asked E if he was okay with the idea and he said sure. I asked him if we should invite some of his rugby friends to make him feel more comfortable and he agreed. I arranged the party and called everyone up to invite them over. It wasn’t going to be huge… maybe a dozen people or so. I knew by this point that E wasn’t a fan of big crowds.

Friday rolled around and I went for groceries for that night. The usual party snacks, chips drinks etc. When E saw me come home with this stuff he got upset. Saying I should call everyone and tell them not to come. The party was supposed to start in about an hour and he wanted to cancel it. I didn’t understand what his problem was. I had asked him if he wanted to have people over. I had asked him who he was ok with having over. And now that it was actually happening he wasn’t good with it anymore. I said no. I’m not cancelling on these people. It’s not going to be a big deal. We’re just going to sit and eat, drink, chill and have fun. E wasn’t having it. 15 minutes before it was supposed to start, and he left the house. I still have no idea where to, probably off to the gym or something.  But people started coming and I had to say that E couldn’t make it. I had my first party/house warming as a “married couple”… on my own.

I wasn’t pleased. I got drunk. I can think of only 3 time I’ve ever been this drunk in my entire life, since I’m really not a big drinker. But in that moment I just wanted to forget. Forget that I was entertaining E’s friends without him. Forget that we were supposed to be in this together, but I was alone. I got so drunk that by the end of the night I realized it was just myself and one of E’s friends left. I had been calling E all night to come home but he wasn’t answering. So when his friend said he was heading out to another friends birthday party, and asked if I wanted to go so I wasn’t alone, I agreed.

We drove to the other party and he went in for a few minutes while I waited in the car I was so drunk. I ended up puked out the side of the car. Then S came back to the car and I asked him to please just take me home, I was done with the night. I just wanted to crawl into bed and see if E had made it home yet. Instead he took me to his place. I remember trying to call E over and over and telling him where I was and to please come get me. At S’s house I went to the bathroom and while sitting on the toilet I remember  leaning over to throw up in the tub… all while trying to push S away. He was sticking his hands between my legs while I was tryna piss. And I’m crying and randomly drunk calling out for E. I just wanted it all to stop. Then I remember seeing E standing at the bottom of the stairs while S is kneeling in front of me and I’m pushing him away crying. I screamed and yelled for E, he must’ve gotten one of my million drunk calls/texts about where I was and come! I grabbed for the air. And I remember thinking “he came for me”. But then he just turned around and walked away. He just left me there screaming his name over and over. S finally walked away after E to do god know what, while I somehow pulled myself together enough and somehow got to S’s car and he took me home then. But E was so mad at me. Part of me understands why… I think? But mostly I just think I needed him then. That whole night I needed him. And he wasn’t there for me.

Almost a month later when I found out I was pregnant, E didn’t believe the baby was his for the longest time. He was sure it was S’s. In fact his exact reaction was “oh shit” when I told him. Even after I told him time and time again there was no sex that night, something I”m positive of. He continually acted like I enjoyed what happened that night. Saying things like I would call up S for fun to do it again. I don’t know if he ever trusted me to begin with? Or if it was just his paranoia, and that he couldn’t trust anyone. Needless to say, it put a damper on things and we didn’t have any get togethers after that, which E loved since he hated having people over, and I hated since I love having people over.

Either way, I ended up going through my whole pregnancy with my first born with no help from E. I’m still not sure if it’s just because of who he is as a man, or because of that night, but all those things pregnant woman talk about like back rubs and… well anything with your husband? I experienced none of. Actually come to think of it, I had none of it with either pregnancy so I’m pretty certain it’s just cause E is a jack ass.


 

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24 thoughts on “House Warming. It Was Cold As F**k

  1. i am so sorry that you went through that with someone that was supposed to protect you. S took total advantage of you and E is not a person that you can lean on for anything as far as what i read on here.

  2. So sad you went through this. E and S didnt care about you the way people should – but unfortunately to often don’t.

  3. I think the comment from wytch669 says how sorry we feel for you, but that it’s history. Oh yes, S took total advantage of the situation and you’re lucky he wasn’t a killer! I disagree with wytch669 that E is supposed to protect you, that is old school thinking. Keep yourself safer and try not to make situations where you’re so vulnerable. Get some good friends, but being a good friend. Guess the big lessons learnt from all this was 1) Don’t drink so much (too obvious). 2) All said and done, E is an honest person who says how he feels e.g. when he says he doesn’t like crowds. 3) Avoid S totally, and part of me thinks he could have been arrested that night. 4) Most importantly, if you think you might get pregnant again, start saving for a registered doula! ❤️

      • and now beloved, I think I might have to read some of your other blogs, just to find out what’s been happening and about your perception of E based on that.

          • Oh thanks, it’s 5.55am and reading your reply has given my mind that little ditty from The Sound of Music
            🎼 Let’s start at the very beginning
            A very good place to start
            When you read you begin with A-B-C
            When you sing you begin with do-re-mi…

          • Now up to speed, it’s been a rocky road (ooh I might be hungry), still I’m sticking to my conclusion that E was being honest at the time, that he didn’t want to be in the crowd, otherwise the proof for the other way, would be that he would have stayed.

          • Whatever. I don’t have to justify my perception and how I portrayed it to others. I live my life, you live yours. If you wanna view him in that light, go ahead. Doesn’t have an impact on our day to day lives if we learn to let go. And I let go of E a long time ago.

          • Nope, we don’t have to justify our perceptions. I will for the record say that my conclusion is based on what you wrote: ‘…E wasn’t a fan of big crowds.’ and ‘he wanted to cancel it’ plus ’15 minutes before it was supposed to start, and he left the house.’ in the hope of being understood, but that isn’t necessary, it’s just me trying to be helpful.

          • He also previously told me it would be fine to have the party. He also is a compulsive liar because of his paranoia and schizophrenia. So to hear you say he was being honest made me laugh so hard I spit my coffee out.

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